Top Seven Reasons Birth Mothers Decline an Adoptive Parent Match

A big part of the adoption process is finding an adoptive family for your unborn child. Here at Adoption Choices of Oklahoma, we will provide you with a list of waiting families looking to adopt. It is important to find an adoptive family that you think is best for your unborn baby. Our staff will provide you with pictures and profiles of the families we have on our waiting list. Different factors can go into why a birth mother might decline an adoptive parent match and go with a different adoptive parent or family. Below are the top seven reasons as to why a birth mother might decline an adoptive parent match.

1. Family Size. Family size can be very important to birth mothers and you. For example, you could want your child to grow up being an only child and getting all the attention. On the other hand, you could want your child to grow up in a big family and have siblings. Remember, it is your adoption plan for the baby and what you envision for your child’s future. If you do not have a preference for family size, you will want to let your adoption specialist know. This will allow your adoption specialist to show you adoptive families’ profiles with all different family sizes.
2. Reason Pets. Similar to family size, pets can also play a role in selecting an adoptive parent or family. You want to think back if you grew up with pets in your house. If you did have pets in your house, you could want your child to grow up with pets as well. You also want to consider if you are allergic to any animals that adoptive families could have as pets. You might not want your child to grow up in a house with certain pets because you do not want them to have any allergic reactions. You will also want to let your adoption specialist know about your preference for pets that way. They can show you adoptive families with no pets, pets, or certain pets only like a family with dogs or cats.
3. Religious Preference. Now, this can be a big reason for birth mothers and an important one as well. You could want your child to grow up in the same religious household as you, or it could not matter what type of religious household they grow up in. Nevertheless, it is an important factor when choosing an adoptive family or parent because the type of religious household-they grow up in will affect how they view the world and how they are raised. No matter what you decide, no judgment will come your way from our staff here at Adoption Choices of Oklahoma.
4. Parenting Style. Whether or not religion plays a factor in how adoptive parents raise their children, there is another layer to it. Their overall parenting style, how they discipline their children, and how they reward their children for their achievements. This is an important question for adoptive parents and families so you can get an idea of what their household is like. In addition, the adoptive parents or family’s answer could help you decide whether or not to accept them to adopt your child.
5. Openness Of Your Adoption. This is another big reason for birth mothers. Now there are different types of adoption plans you can choose from. You can have a closed, semi-open, or an open adoption plan. Now you might be thinking, how does this play a role in what adoptive parent or family you choose? Well, the parent or family could want to be a part of a different adoption plan than you want to have. For example, you could want to have an open adoption plan, but the adoptive parent or family could want to be a part of a closed adoption plan. This causes a standoff in the Oklahoma adoption process, and you could choose not to move forward with them.
6. Environment. Another layer to how your child is raised with the adoptive parent or family is the environment. Would you like them to grow up in a small town or a big city? You could want them to be raised in a neighborhood outside of a big city or a diverse neighborhood so that they can grow up and learn to connect and make friends with people and kids from different cultures and ethnicities. This is a very important part of the process, and you want to be as polite as you can be when talking to adoptive parents and families about this.
7. Type And Number Of Parents. In today’s society, The traditional two-parent household has become one type of household among others. In addition, there is a household with a single parent, transracial and same-sex parents growing their families. You want to let your adoption specialist know what your thoughts are on this and what exactly you are looking for. Each of these types of households can help your child to learn important things growing up. Growing up in a single-parent household helps teach them independence and responsibility. Growing up with same-sex parents, whether they grow up with two moms or two dads, helps them become more tolerable. Growing up in a transracial household helps them grow to understand and appreciate other races and cultures.

Remember This Is Your Adoption Plan

This is a very important part of your adoption journey. Here at Adoption Choices of Oklahoma, you will not be judged for your preferences on adoptive parents and families. This is your journey, and you are finding a suitable future for your child. We know this is a difficult time for you and that you might feel guilty about your preferences but remember it’s okay. This is your adoption plan, and your preferences are your preferences, and you will not be judged on what you want for your child and the future you want them to have.

Adoption Choices of Oklahoma is a private adoption agency, licensed by the state of Oklahoma and a leader in the adoption community. We have been assisting birth parents, children, and adoptive families in Oklahoma for over 19 years. Our staff members are committed to providing an ethical, empowering, and personalized adoption experience to all involved in the adoption process.  If you are currently in the process of adopting a baby and have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact us.
Toll-free: 800-898-6028 | OKC Local: 405-755-1999 | Tulsa Local: 918-447-7777 | Text: 405-310-8790 | Email

Meet the Author: Nickolas Cooney is a senior at Arizona State University working through his final semester to get his bachelor’s degree in Sports Journalism. Nick also attended the University of Alabama for his first year and a half of college when he was a biology major. He decided to move back to Arizona and transfer to ASU when he changed his major because he saw more opportunities at the Walter Cronkite School of Mass Communication and Journalism. Since transferring to ASU, Nick has been a reporter for the AIA in Arizona for a semester and worked with the Phoenix Suns and Rising for stories.

While writing about sports and creating content about sports is Nick’s passion. He also is very passionate about playing sports as well. He grew up playing baseball, basketball, and racing motocross. Nick still does his best to ride and race motocross when he has time, but he has been focusing on his schooling and another one of his passions, gaming. Nick is an avid gamer, and he is even a streamer on Twitch. He has built up a fan base to be a part of the Twitch Affiliate program.