4 Fears About Giving Up a Baby for Adoption in Oklahoma

By Ryan Yau

If you are an expectant mother considering your options, you likely have thought about adoption. It’s possible you have some worries about the adoption process. However, many of the common fears about adoption are actually misconceptions.

Adoption Choices of Oklahoma can clear up some impressions you may have about the process. After all, being fully informed about your options helps you make the best decision for you and your baby.

How Can I Make Sure My Child’s Adoptive Family Will be Trustworthy?

We acknowledge that it may seem scary to place your child in the hands of others. However, nearby adoption agencies do as much as they can to ensure your child will be raised in good hands. All prospective households are screened to make sure they will be a safe and caring environment for a child. Furthermore, this will also ensure the parents will be financially secure in the coming years in order to raise a child.

Additionally, you will always have the ultimate say in choosing your child’s adoptive parents. You will be offered different adoptive families to choose from, who will all have been screened. In some cases, you are able to meet and visit the adoptive parents to make a more informed decision.

Will I Never Get to See My Child After the Adoption?

Fortunately, you have the choice of what extent you want to remain in your child’s life after adoption. There are many different types of adoption that you can pick from. An open adoption will allow you to exchange contact information with the adoptive parents. This allows you to visit your child and potentially be a part of their life. If you fear not being able to see your child, you may want to consider an open adoption.

Other types of adoption allow for varying levels of communication with your child and their family. These include, but are not limited to:

• Semi-open adoption, in which you do not have the adoptive family’s contact but receive updates from the adoption agency. If you want to visit your child, you may be able to receive their contact information from the agency.
• Closed adoption, in which you do not receive the adoptive family’s contact information. This means you will be unable to contact your child through the agency. You are still able to choose the family during the adoption process, but their names will be anonymized.

Am I Selfish for Placing My Child for Adoption?

There is somewhat of a social stigma attached to seeking adoption. However, these are rooted in unfair expectations for women to be mothers. It is perfectly okay to either not be able to or not want to raise a child. Choosing to prioritize yourself is not inherently selfish, and feeling forced to raise a child would be a net negative.

In fact, adoption is often a selfless act. It’s possible you are giving people who, for whatever reason, cannot have children the chance to be parents. By choosing adoption, you also give your baby a chance to grow up in a loving household.

Will I Regret Placing My Child for Adoption?

You may worry that you will regret your decision after you’ve placed your child for adoption. With a decision as important as what to do with your baby, it may feel scary to make any choice. And while we cannot guarantee that you will not feel regret, there are ways to help lessen your fears. As mentioned above, open adoption is a good idea if you are scared of losing touch with your child. Especially if you are attached to your baby, it can make it easier to give them to another family.

Some mothers experience a form of birth mother grief when placing their children for adoption. Because pregnancy creates such a strong bond between mother and child, it is natural that separation can be difficult. If you experience this, Adoption Choices of Oklahoma provides services that can help you navigate your grief. You can seek counseling services from your adoption specialist, who is trained to help you throughout the adoption process. Furthermore, you can join birth mother support groups with mothers who have similar experiences.

Acknowledging Your Adoption Fears

It’s best to acknowledge your fears about the adoption process. Though some of them may be rooted in misconceptions about the process, others may be more difficult to confront. Choosing what to do with your baby is a very personal and emotional decision. Therefore, you need to understand why you have certain worries and see if they are enough to hold you back.

Adoption Choices of Oklahoma can help you with your decision-making process by accurately informing you about the adoption process. If you are a woman considering adoption and would like to learn more about your options.