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5 Hard Things About Placing a Baby for Adoption

By Kate Armentor

Child adoption is undoubtedly a beautiful and helpful process for many who have used it. It can, however, come with some downsides after all has been said and done. When a mother gives birth to her child, she is overcome with the feeling that she has brought a new person into the world. Adding onto those feelings is the want for something to cling to her like a child usually does to its mother. Simply letting go of such an important feeling is going to be difficult for any mother. It may even seem impossible for those who are more connected with their emotions. It is, however, possible to do when the mother has the right mindset when giving up her child. 

Emotional Connection Through Your Adoption Journey

It is no secret that a birth mother can become attached in more ways than one to her child. She can experience emotions while feeding, talking to, or even holding her new baby. Separation after putting a child up for adoption can throw the mother into world-shattering headspaces. That is why Adoption Choices in Oklahoma offers counseling to mothers up to eight weeks after the birth itself. We do not want any mothers to feel left behind or abandoned after seemingly abandoning a life of her own. The best thing to remember for birth mothers, if this is the case, is to remind themselves of the reasons they need to give up their child. Whether it be because of their age, mental state, or income levels, they just will not be able to provide for their baby. 

Depressive Episodes After Adoption

Post-mortem depression is very real in some mothers and can be increased heavily if they give up the child. Most mothers in this situation would have a significant lowering of self-worth or guilt for not caring for their child themselves. Tulsa adoption agenciesOklahoma City adoption, and any other Oklahoma adoption agency want to ensure this does not happen. While the emotions of the birth mother are entirely valid and truly known by her, we try everything to make her feel safe. Our counselors reminded her she was doing something wonderful for another family and her child. They also comfort her with the time they have with her to ensure her level of self-worth is reasonable. 

Adoption and the Holidays

Holidays can actually heighten these negative emotions to an alarming degree. If anyone is left in a depressive state, the presence of happier faces can leave a greater range of heightened emotions. While no one may say it to your face, seeing everyone else in a more joyous environment can strengthen feelings of isolation, annoyance, and frustration. To combat these feelings, one way to prepare is to form an open adoption plan. This will allow you to form a connection with the new adoptive parents of your child. You will be able to discuss the amount of contact and may get to interact with them and your child over the holidays. That way, you are less likely to feel alone and may get to spend the Holidays with your child. 

Lack of Support After Birth

One thing Birth mothers usually worry about when faced with an unplanned pregnancy is ‘how will I be able to support myself?’ Without a doubt, Adoption Choices of Oklahoma will be able to help you. As stated before, we do offer counseling up to eight weeks after the birth. Our counselors make sure you are not left in depressive moods after giving up your child. As experts in general healthcare, they understand better than anyone the emotional connection between a birth mother and child. This would also be a good time to reach out to any friends or family members after giving birth. Even if you are certain that you are not completely depressed, uneasy feelings can creep their way into your life without you realizing it. Surround yourself with people you know will lift your spirits. 

Lack of Self-Care Routine After Birth

One way to help with anxious or depressed feelings after childbirth is to set up a self-help routine. If need be, Adoption Choices of Oklahoma can help you with that as well. Your counselor can advise you on how to care for yourself after a period where you are mostly cared for by others. You can treat yourself to long baths or spa days. You could set up an exercise plan to ease your body into regular living now that you are no longer pregnant. You can start meditating or focus on yourself spiritually. There are thousands of different options. After putting effort into your child and finding a better life for them, focus on you. Remind yourself that you are loved and important as well. 

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