Toll-free: 800-898-6028 | OKC Local: 405-755-1999 | Tulsa Local: 918-447-7777 | Text: 405-201-6643 | Email

Adoption After a Sexual Assault

By Anna Keller

If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy after a sexual assault, you first need to know that you are not alone. Plenty of resources are available to help you through this difficult time. Placing your baby for adoption is no easy choice, but it is a viable option if you are unsure what to do. You might be asking, how does adoption for my baby work if I was raped? Can you choose adoption after a sexual assault? How involved does the birth father have to be? Will he be involved at all? All these questions, and more, will be answered in this article.  

First, you need to know that you will not be required to work with the birth father if he is deemed an unfit parent. In the eyes of the law, if the birth father has a history of substance abuse and violence, then he will not be allowed to proceed with the adoption process. Adoption in Oklahoma has a rule that no birth father will be allowed to proceed if he has been proven to rape the birth mother. Another question you may have about the birth father is, what if he was your married spouse? If he violated you, then that nullifies his involvement in the adoption process.  To find out more about this, consult your adoption specialist.

The Inside Scoop Behind the Adoption Process

Private adoption agencies like Adoption Choices of Oklahoma are specifically tailored to work with you on this. Your social worker and an adoptive counselor will help you come up with an adoption plan unique to you, pertaining to your situation. Adoption agencies in Oklahoma like this one will set you up with specialists who have an inside perspective on these issues. Meaning it is possible you will receive a counselor who has been through the adoption process herself or knows someone who has. The connections you make during this time are valuable and will go a long way.  

Adoption after a Sexual Assault 

You may be wondering just how to proceed with adoption after your assault at. How do you even decide to go through with such a thing in the first place? What we can offer is that adoption is an honorable, brave decision that many women live to cherish. While the actual process of adopting out a child is difficult, the aftermath is relieving. Women who care about their babies will struggle with the responsibility of letting their child go, but ultimately, they will know they made the best choice for them. However, the added layer of rape makes this decision much heavier.

Many women do not feel comfortable carrying a physical manifestation of sexual violence to term. However, we encourage you to look past that if you are considering adoption. What you are doing is providing a child with a life you would not have been able to give them, and that is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, there are many things to be proud of.  

How to Reach Out for Adoption Help

How do you initially reach out to an agency during a time of fear and uncertainty? There are multiple ways to initiate contact. If you do not feel comfortable calling yet, you can email me. You can even schedule an appointment virtually or in-person to talk to someone in the agency. The agency is staffed with non-judgmental supporters who only want to help you. No one will judge you for processing your pregnancy in your own way, on your terms. Furthermore, you do not have to immediately explain the details of your situation if you are not ready.

The agency is here to help you, not discriminate whether your situation is ‘legitimate’ enough for adoption. Truthfully, any woman who is pregnant can look into adoption. The circumstances do not have to be so drastic. That being said, if they are, it changes nothing. You will still be welcomed with open arms and walked through every step of the process.  

Other Avenues of Adoption Support 

Another option you have in working with an adoption agency is finding a support group of other assaulted birth mothers. If you find things in common with people who have been through something similar, then that will ease some of the burdens. You will not feel as alone or ostracized. Your adoptive counselor will also encourage you to lean on your family during this time. Even if that is not something you originally anticipated yourself doing, you may be surprised by how they react. But if you feel as though your family might not support you during this time, then you still have plenty of people who will.

The agency encourages you to be open and honest about your struggles so that they can better help you. It is not an overnight process; you will not be expected to spill everything all at once. But if you do decide to open up to the adoptive family about your experience, they will listen with open ears. They will not judge you or view you any differently than if you had conceived the child consensually. Better yet, they will support you in ways that you might not have expected.  

Adoption Choices of Oklahoma is a private adoption agency licensed by the state of Oklahoma and a leader in the adoption community. Our staff members are committed to providing an ethical, empowering, and personalized adoption experience to all involved in the adoption process.  If you are currently in the process of adopting a baby and have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact us.
Toll-free: 800-898-6028 | OKC Local: 405-755-1999 | Tulsa Local: 918-447-7777 | Text: 405-201-6643 | Email

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