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Adoption in Oklahoma: 5 Things People Get Wrong About Birth Fathers During the Adoption Process

Throughout our society, there is a subconscious (sometimes very conscious) belief that women should have more involvement in their children’s lives than men do. This idea also is often applied to the adoption process — whether we realize it or not. When adoption is represented in the media, whether it’s a fictional or real story, it often shows the birth mother’s adoption journey without much mention of the father. This belief can cause issues in a couple of ways. Firstly, it puts a lot of pressure on the birth mother to handle everything. If people believe responsibility solely rests on the mother, it can lead to a lack of support. The second reason this is harmful is because it removes fathers from powerful, important life decisions. Many birth fathers highly value their previous adoption journey and the relationship they were able to create with the adoptive family.

At Adoption Choices of Oklahoma, it’s our mission to support you during your adoption journey. And part of that support means helping you debunk harmful myths about adoption in Oklahoma. Keep reading if you want to learn more about 5 things people get wrong about birth fathers.

5 Things People Get Wrong About Birth Fathers During the Oklahoma Adoption Process

While many birth mothers have a similar path on their adoption journey, a birth father’s involvement is often much more varied. Much of it will depend on your relationship, level of communication, and his own willingness to be involved. It’s important to remember there’s no one size fits all in an adoption scenario. Here are five assumptions people make about birth fathers that aren’t always true.

  • Birth Fathers Have No Say During the Oklahoma Adoption Process

This definitely isn’t the case. Just like birth mothers are able to make decisions about how many personal details they want to share, or what kind of relationship they want to create with the adoptive family, birth fathers can do this as well. While birth fathers won’t be able to make any decisions for the birth mother directly, he has a say in things that affect him directly.

  • Birth Fathers Don’t Stick Around During the Adoption Process in Oklahoma

This is completely dependent on your personal situation and the birth father in question. There are some birth fathers who take a very hands-off approach during the adoption process, but there are others who are incredibly involved. It all comes down to the birth father’s preferences.

  • Birth Fathers Can’t Create a Lasting Relationship with Their Biological Child

Just like a birth mother can choose to have an open adoption, this is an option for birth fathers as well. They can communicate with the adoptive family and work out some guidelines for what kind of relationship they’d like in the future. So, if birth fathers would like to be a bit more involved with their biological child’s life, there are usually options.

  • Birth Fathers Have No Rights During the Oklahoma Adoption Process

While it’s important to remember that you have the final say in many adoption decisions because of your bodily autonomy rights, birth fathers do have some rights as well. Here are a few examples of rights birth fathers have during the Oklahoma adoption process:

    • The right to remove themselves from the adoption process
    • The right to withhold contact information and other personal details — besides medical records — from the adoptive family
    • The right to adoption counseling and other adoption resources
  • Birth Fathers Don’t Need to Know About the Oklahoma Adoption

This is a complex topic, and one you should speak to professionals about. Our legal team at Adoption Choices of Oklahoma can help you with questions just like, “Should I tell the baby’s father that I’m placing my baby for adoption?” 

Most of the time, it’s recommended that you inform the father for both legal and ethical issues. However, we know that sometimes there are exceptions to this rule. Feel free to contact us with any questions you have about telling the baby’s father.

How Can I Place My Baby for Adoption in Oklahoma?

Adoption can be overwhelming, and one of the hardest parts is finding out where to start. Luckily, adoption agencies in Oklahoma exist to help guide you through the trickier parts of adoption. 

At Adoption Choices of Oklahoma, we’re here to help you handle emotional barriers, the legal side of adoption, and help you create a comprehensive adoption plan. We want to help take some of the stress off your shoulders and set you up with qualified adoption experts.

Not sure if adoption is right for you? No problem. You can still reach out to us and schedule an appointment to help decide if adoption would be a good fit. 

Adoption Choices of Oklahoma is a private adoption agency, licensed by the state of Oklahoma and a leader in the adoption community. We have been assisting birth parents, children, and adoptive families in Oklahoma for over 19 years. Our staff members are committed to providing an ethical, empowering, and personalized adoption experience to all involved in the adoption process.  If you are currently in the process of adopting a baby and have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact us.
Toll-free: 800-898-6028 | OKC Local: 405-755-1999 | Tulsa Local: 918-447-7777 | Text: 405-310-8790Email

About the Author: Alexandra Georgiton is a fourth-year student at the University of Cincinnati studying Rhetoric and Professional Writing, and is receiving certification in Copyediting and Publishing. She has been passionate about the English language for her entire life, and reading and writing have always been her favorite hobbies. She enjoys professional writing and editing because she loves to use her talent and love of writing to make a difference in the world.

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