My child’s adoptive family doesn’t celebrate Christmas, but I do. Now what?
By Imani Agbionu
At Adoption Choices of Oklahoma, we respect everyone’s religion and beliefs. There is no such thing as a wrong religion here, and we will never judge you as the birth mother if you have or have no beliefs. You have your own personal rights, and everyone is different. That is what makes the world so beautiful. As the birth mother, we understand that you are possibly choosing adoption. During the adoption process, you choose which type of adoption you want to utilize: open, semi-closed, or closed. Within all adoption forms, you can choose your baby’s adoptive parents based on the parent profiles we provide you.
If you were to choose your local adoption agency in Oklahoma, we would serve you. Before such, you would give us preferences based on the family you would like to adopt your baby. In doing so, if you would like to choose a family that shares the same religion as you, that is no problem. There is no problem even if the family doesn’t, but based on the adoption you choose now, celebrations and practices may be different. Make sure to pick the family that best fits your wants and needs. We can’t just support you the entire time.
As an adoption agency with over 20 years of experience, we can support and help you with experience. With the holidays arriving, we understand that you have questions and concerns in relation to your baby. We can help share communication between yourself and the adoptive family of your baby if you are part of open adoption. With more than one location, including one in Tulsa, Oklahoma, you can take advantage of our service at any point if you are facing an unplanned pregnancy.
Are there any limits I have to respect when putting my baby up for open adoption?
Open adoption is a type of adoption that millions of birth mothers utilize every day. Unlike the other two forms of adoption, closed and semi-closed, you have more rights as the birth mother. When choosing the birth family, you are provided information that may be considered sensitive. Such as the families first and last name and their home addresses. Not to mention there shall be contact between yourself and said family either virtually or in person with your adoption counselor present as the third party! Even at birth, the adoptive parents may be there if you would like them to be. After the baby is born, contact shall be intact in different forms: email, calls, photos, or in person. As frequently told as the birth mother, you may become part of the family.
As far as limits are concerned, the adoptive family is important because their norms in life may be different from yours. Of course, when it pertains to seeing your baby, due to the face, you relinquish your rights. They are his/her parents. You can just arrive at their home at any point in time. There needs to be a form of communication. Even if you feel uncomfortable doing so first, you can still come to your Tulsa adoption agency and contact your caseworker. Instead, your caseworker can contact the family instead. There are limits that you and the adoptive family have to agree on, including holidays and more. That can be a discussion you have prior to the birth of the baby or even after, but as the adoption agency. We can’t tell you exactly the limits to respect.
How can I respect the adoptive family of my baby’s religion?
Religion plays a huge role in families sometimes, which is beautiful and as beautiful if they don’t. We understand some families don’t celebrate Christmas, but in return, you do celebrate Christmas. It’s just like parents that are raising children separately and have to co-parent with each other. One might have a religion that causes them to not celebrate Christmas, while another does celebrate Christmas. They just do so on their own time. In your case, this is not co-parenting because you are the birth mother, but you give baby up for adoption. Which is great, and in return, you gave your baby a better life and answered your unplanned pregnancy with the best choice you have. But, if you know the family does not celebrate Christmas, do not purchase a gift and give it to your child first. Their adoptive parents are the sole providers that you choose to take care of them. If you ask and they say, then, by all means, purchase your child a gift for them.
You do have to accept that they might say no, which you will have to respect as well. Out of respect for their religion, you should make sure to be fine with such. You might feel a certain kind of way, but knowing buying gifts doesn’t matter to you as long as they know you love them! You do love them very much, so if the adoptive parents do say no, find a way to spend time with the family. Occasionally you can buy your child something through the approval of the adoptive family, not as a gift, but just to provide your child with something from you personally!
You Should Never Be Ashamed of Adoption
As we like to call ourselves the “safe haven of OKC,” we are here for you if you are pregnant with an unplanned baby. Our goal is to serve as many birth mothers as needed while building families at the same time in the state of Oklahoma. If anything is making you hesitate, including if you will have anything in common with the possible adoptive family of your baby, don’t worry. If you would like to contact us or have questions, there are multiple forms in which you can. Call us, text us, or go through our website portal! We will get back as soon as possible without hesitation.
Adoption Choices of Oklahoma is a private adoption agency licensed by the state of Oklahoma and leader in the adoption community. If you are currently in the process of adopting a baby and have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact us.
Toll-free: 800-898-6028 | OKC Local: 405-755-1999 | Tulsa Local: 918-447-7777 | Text: 405-201-6643 | Email