Becoming a Surrogate Mother in OK for a Friend or Family Member 

Becoming a surrogate mother in OK is a huge decision and not an easy one. Surrogacy is an experience that will change you forever and is not something to be taken lightly. Unlike adoption, just deciding to become a surrogate doesn’t mean you get to be one. Surrogacy requires a lot of time, commitment, and passing a lot of qualification barriers. Since the selection process for surrogates is pretty strict, and with good reason, it can be challenging to find a surrogate as an intended parent. It takes a lot of careful consideration when becoming a surrogate in OK, then, you have to meet the criteria and match the intended parents. That process widdles down the options for intended parents. Since the pool of potential surrogates can feel pretty empty to some intended families, they sometimes turn to those closest to them. 

If you’re thinking about becoming a surrogate, ready to apply, or just want to ask questions about surrogacy, Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Oklahoma is here for you. We’ll walk you through how to become a surrogate in Oklahoma and answer any questions or concerns you might have. We know surrogacy is a big decision, so don’t hesitate to reach out for support or guidance. The surrogacy process doesn’t change if you’re doing it for a friend or family member, but there can be some big differences. 

If you’re considering becoming a surrogate for a friend or family member, or just curious how that works, we’ve got you covered. Here’s just about everything you need to know about becoming a surrogate mother for a friend or family member. 

Is it Legal to Become a Surrogate Mother in OK for a Friend or Family Member?

Yes! OK surrogacy is legal, and that includes being a surrogate mother for a friend or family member. Do keep in mind that surrogacy agencies may be able to turn you away from depending on the state and agency, but most won’t. If you’re looking into surrogacy to become a surrogate mother for a friend or family member, let the agency know ahead of time in case they have special steps or regulations. 

Will Being a Surrogate for a Friend or Family Member Cause Issues? 

This question is broad but pretty frequently asked. It’s fair to want to know what all could arise from carrying a baby for a friend or family member, so here are a few answers to this question you may be looking for. 

• You will not be related to the baby

Sperm and eggs come from either the intended parents or donors. Surrogacy uses in vitro fertilization (IVF), in which sperm and egg are taken from either the intended parents or donors, the egg is fertilized, then the embryo is transplanted in the surrogate. Although the surrogate and baby will share and cycle literal blood, the surrogate will have no relation to the baby and do not share DNA. Being related to the child you’re carrying can be concerning for those looking into becoming a surrogate for a family member, but since no DNA is shared, the baby probably won’t have extra toes. 

• There shouldn’t be any legal custody issues

As with every other surrogacy type, since you’re not related to the baby as the surrogate, you can’t get custody. A lot of intended parents worry about the surrogate seeking custody; however, the intended parents will complete forms to show they are the legal parents before the baby is even born. In cases of LGBTQ+ intended parents or situations where one or both parents couldn’t provide sperm or eggs, all legal custody is completed early, so there’s no confusion. There have been some cases of the surrogate mother seeking custody, but those are pretty few and far between. Remember, even if you are a surrogate for a close friend or family member, you are not the parent. 

• There might be turmoil 

Unfortunately, there are still a lot of people who believe in the nuclear family and creating it the old-fashioned way. Family and friends may not accept or agree with becoming a surrogate to begin with, and becoming a surrogate for a friend or family member can add to the tension. Most of the time, people who disagree with or dislike surrogacy don’t fully understand it. If you have someone in your life that is against it, take this as an opportunity to teach. Myths and misinformation surround surrogacy for a variety of reasons. As a member of the surrogacy community or soon-to-be member, you can educate those around you and help put surrogates and surrogacy in a better light. Some people may not like that you’re choosing to be a surrogate, and that’s okay. Don’t let other people’s opinions sway your decision to make an intended family’s dream of becoming parents come true. 

The Limitations of Becoming a Surrogate Mother in OK for a Friend or Family Member

Surrogacy is a very serious decision. When it doesn’t involve someone close to you, you’re being entrusted by strangers to producing a healthy baby with little to no issues. Since we like surrogacy to go off without a hitch, there’s a long list of requirements to become a surrogate. Aside from all the background checks, physical exams, mental health evaluations, etc., you still have to qualify. If you want to become a surrogate for a friend or family member, there may be some hurdles you can’t cross. For example, it may be impossible for someone’s mom to be a surrogate since the cut-off age to become a surrogate in most cases is around 39. Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Oklahoma only allows surrogates between the ages of 21 and 39. 

Things to Remember About Becoming a Surrogate for a Friend or Family Member

For those who deal with infertility or are unable to have a biological child, the subject of pregnancy and children can be very touchy. If you have a friend or family member who can’t have children, don’t assume they want them or that they would want you to be a surrogate for them. TV and movies may make it seem like it’s easy to tell your best friend that you’ll be their surrogate, but it’s not. What if you agree and get their hopes up but don’t qualify? What if they would prefer to work with a surrogate they’re not close to? In general, it’s best to avoid being the one to offer your services. Wait for them to approach you, but don’t make any promises. Surrogacy is not something to take lightly, even with the best intentions. Would you even be a surrogate for someone you’re close to? Or, have you? What was that like? 

Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Oklahoma is a surrogacy and adoption agency, licensed by the state of Oklahoma and a leader in the community. We assist both intended parents and gestational carriers (surrogates). Our staff members are committed to providing an ethical, empowering, and personalized experience to all involved in the surrogacy process.
Toll-free: 800-898-6028 | OKC Local: 405-755-1999 | Tulsa Local: 918-447-7777 | Text: 405-310-8790 | Email

Meet the Author: Michelle Brugioni is a practiced, well-versed college-educated writer and avid coffee drinker. She has ten years of experience as a freelance writer and has written for an alarmingly wide range of clients and publications. She has written on topics like: life science, biopharmaceutical company acquisitions, dealing with anxiety, and creative drinking games. 

As a fearless writer and masterful researcher, each time Michelle is approached with the question, “Can you write this?” she responds confidently with, “When do you need it?”