Toll-free: 800-898-6028 | OKC Local: 405-755-1999 | Tulsa Local: 918-447-7777 | Text: 405-201-6643 | Email

Birth Fathers and Adoption Agencies  

By Anna Keller

Are you wondering how to put a child up for adoption? If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy, you may be wondering what steps you need to take next. Firstly, you need to decide if adoption is something you even want. Placing your baby for adoption is not something to be taken lightly. Forming an adoption plan will take a conscientious effort. But you are not alone. You have the support of an adoption agency at your disposal.  

Birth Fathers and Adoption Agencies  

Adoption agencies in Oklahoma, like Adoption Choices of Oklahoma, will help you view your options. If your partner, or birth father, is involved in this, then his opinion will matter as well. Unless, of course, he is deemed unfit to be a parent. Here is how it works. In the eyes of Oklahoma law, if the birth father has an addiction or a history of abuse, their opinion does not matter. You can proceed with the adoption without him. Your first step is to reach out to an adoption center and get in touch with an agent. Are you worried that adoption in Oklahoma will not work for you? The choice is ultimately yours. But here is some information about birth fathers to guide you if you are considering adoption.  

Old Fashioned Narratives About Birth Fathers 

One myth about birth fathers who get in touch with adoption agencies is that they are not a ‘man’ unless they marry the mother and parent the baby. This could not be further from the truth. Stigmas rooted in old-fashioned narratives propagate the idea that birth fathers cannot fully step into their manhood unless they obligingly wed. The adoption process is far more complicated than this, though. While stepping forward and helping the mother is the right thing to do, it is not the manly thing to do. This action should be attributed to integrity and character, not masculinity.  

Another myth about birth fathers is that they simply don’t care. This myth is rooted in a stigma that generalizes all birth fathers into one malicious category of cruel indifference. While it is true that some birth fathers do not care, this grossly minimizes the ones who do. Most adoption plans, except in cases of domestic abuse or other cause for intervention, involve the birth father. The birth father’s input is valuable and crucial even to the adoption process. Adoption agencies in Oklahoma will work with the birth father as well as the mother.

The mother is not the only one who receives emotional support. This is a pivotal time for the father as well. Oftentimes in the narrative of adoption, we see the fathers’ feelings swept aside. This is likely because they are not the ones carrying the child. But just because men cannot carry children does not mean that they do not have feelings about their unborn children. Birth fathers’ emotions must be taken into account and treated with just as much care.  

Myths vs. Facts About Adoption

Just because you are not fit to be a parent does not mean you are a deadbeat. This is another old-fashioned mindset that actively harms not only the narrative of adoption but its participants. The fact to combat this myth, according to the article about myths and facts, is that men make plans based on informed decisions. Adoption agencies in Oklahoma will help you and the father make well-thought-out decisions. Another myth is that birth fathers ‘don’t experience loss’ because they do not have the chance to bond with the child. This is also untrue. Birth fathers often do feel the loss of their baby, which follows them long after their partner’s pregnancy ends.  

Why Birth Fathers Say Matters  

But what if you, the birth mother, are already in a relationship? The birth father may feel as though he does not have much of a say and that his views and opinions will be sidelined. However, there are laws put in place to protect the birth father. If you have intercourse with someone aside from your partner, that person will legally have a say in the adoption process. According to the website, they can ‘establish paternity,’ which will make them legally able to contribute to the experience. What about the adoptive family? There are rules for that, too. As long as he is fit to be a parent, the birth father has a say in which family is chosen.

Pregnant and Considering Adoption in Oklahoma

The adoption process is something that can be done alone but also benefits from collaboration. Meaning if the birth parents work together to find a loving home for their child, things will go smoother. In short, adoption is a legitimate thing, and it’s something that both birth parents should take seriously. As a result, things will go more smoothly if both parents collaborate as teammates to find their child a safe, loving home. 

Adoption Choices of Oklahoma is a private adoption agency licensed by the state of Oklahoma and a leader in the adoption community. We have been assisting birth parents, children, and adoptive families in Oklahoma for over 19 years. Our staff members are committed to providing an ethical, empowering, and personalized adoption experience to all involved in the adoption process.  If you are currently in the process of adopting a baby and have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact us.
Toll-free: 800-898-6028 | OKC Local: 405-755-1999 | Tulsa Local: 918-447-7777 | Text: 405-201-6643 | Email

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