You’ve discovered that you’re pregnant, and you don’t know what to do. Weighing your options, you decide that adoption is one you’re willing to explore. You want what’s best for your child and know that there are many hopeful adoptive parents just waiting to welcome him or her into their homes with open arms. To find them, you start researching adoption agencies in your area.
Even though the search might take a while, choosing an adoption agency can help you navigate the more challenging aspects of your adoption journey. For instance, an adoption agency can provide assistance with legal counsel, education about the process itself and any and all necessary services along the way. Because each agency varies slightly in how they operate, it’s important to do your research ahead of time to better determine which agency is the best fit for you. Part of this is knowing what you need or want from them, and becoming familiar with your state’s laws about adoption as well.
Here at Adoption Choices of Oklahoma, we want to help you out as much as we can! Below are the services we can provide to you as a birth mother.
1) Establishing Your Why
The process of adoption can seem daunting – especially for you, a birth mother. While you’re contemplating the possibility of placing your baby for adoption, it’s essential to understand and define your why. In other words, you need to map out the motivation and reasoning behind your choice. We want to make sure that you know what you’re getting yourself into, and that you never feel pressured. While we are more than happy to answer any questions and address your concerns, the ultimate decision to move forward must come from you. No one can or should decide what’s best for you and your future. Only you can do that.
Once you’ve been assigned an adoption professional, you’ll both sit down and discuss just that. Your intentions, goals and motivations for your pregnancy and adoption journey. Determining any requirements or wishes you have for the process will also be written out. With these ideas established, if you find that we align with what you’re looking for, you’ve completed the first part in choosing an adoption agency.
2) Allowing You to Control Your Adoption Journey
In the past, birth mothers weren’t allowed much, if any, involvement or control over the adoption process. However, things are different now. Not only can you be involved, but you also have a say in selecting your child’s adoptive family. Another important part of choosing an adoption agency is finding out whether or not they will let you do this.
After all, it’s an adoption agency’s job to offer support and comfort throughout the process – not to pressure you or take over in any way. An agency that pressures, mistreats or influences you negatively is a huge red flag. If you feel this way, they’re not the agency for you. You will know you’ve found a good agency when they treat you with the respect you deserve, educate you about your options and provide you with information about how the process works.
3) Providing the Help You Need
A third step in choosing an adoption agency is determining if they provide you with the help you need throughout your adoption journey. This could include: financial assistance, medical care, housing or emotional support. Many adoption agencies provide a lot of care regarding these aspects or are able to point you towards other resources.
Adoption Choices of Oklahoma knows the importance of making sure you are getting proper nutrition throughout your pregnancy, especially if funds are low. We will assist you in services such as counseling, housing assistance, referrals to social services, the facilitation of contact with adoptive families and many others. Some medical care and legal fees may be covered with the help of the adoptive family. If you need financial assistance for basic needs, like groceries and medical care, we can provide you with a list of government resources that can help.
4) Choosing Your Preferred Level of Openness
As a final tip for choosing an adoption agency, you must ask yourself what your preferred level of openness is. Have you considered the amount of contact you want with the adoptive family? How much involvement do you want in your child’s life in the years ahead?
If this is important to you, you’ll want to find an agency that offers you the option to choose. There are three different levels of openness to pick from: closed, semi-open and open. Adoption Choices of Oklahoma encourages open adoption, as we believe it holds everyone’s best interest at heart, but we understand and respect that you have your own preference on this. Your adoption professional can explain to you the pros and cons of each, and you’ll be able to choose the option that aligns with your interests best. If you have any hesitations, we suggest that you choose open adoption. It’s always easier to transition to less contact than more.
Choosing an Adoption Agency
Your adoption journey as a prospective birth mother can be uncomfortable and emotional. Deciding to place your baby for adoption is definitely scary and not one that can be taken lightly. When embarking on your search for the right adoption agency, if you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, remember this – adoption agencies are there to help you. To ease your stress and give you the encouragement, support and comfort you need to make it through. An agency that doesn’t do this isn’t for you.
You are so important, valued and respected. Willingly choosing adoption takes an immense amount of courage, love and sacrifice. You deserve the very best. Adoption Choices of Oklahoma promises to provide you with the most positive and empowering adoption experience possible. We will do everything we can to ensure that you, your child and your child’s adoptive family begin an amazing, life-changing journey together.
Adoption Choices of Oklahoma
If you are currently in the process of adopting a baby and have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact, Adoption Choices of Oklahoma. You may visit our website here or call 405-794-7500 (Oklahoma City) or 918-982-6220 (Tulsa).
Support Adoption Choices
Adoption Choices, Inc. is partnering with Crowdrise, a fundraising website for nonprofits, to help our adoptive parents and birth parents with much needed financial assistance. We understand that expenses keep clients from fulfilling their dreams. Both with birth parents making a plan for adoption, and with adoptive parents growing their family. It is our mission to provide financial assistance through grants and scholarships, awarded annually in November, in honor of National Adoption Month. Funds assist adoptive parents with matching and placements, adoption finalization and helping birth mothers improve their lives through higher education — and much more.
However, we can’t do it alone. Please read up on our programs and donate money where you are able. Your donation will make a huge impact.
About the Author
Jadzia Miller is currently in the final stretches of pursuing an English degree at Colorado Christian University. She has lived in the beautiful state of Colorado for the 22 years she has been on this earth, and loves exploring the beauty that is constantly surrounding her.
She aspires to pursue a career in publishing or library science; either way, Jadzia wants to be encompassed by books and stories. Living near Denver, she is surrounded by artistic pursuits and wants to continue exploring these as often as possible. Jadzia has a passion for encouraging people to read and finding joy in reading books.
“Choosing an Adoption Agency.” National Council for Adoption, www.adoptioncouncil.org/expectant-parents/find-an-agency.
“How to Choose an Adoption Agency or Professional – 5 Tips.” Adoption Network, Adoption Network Law Center, adoptionnetwork.com/5-tips-for-choosing-an-adoption-agency-professional.