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Common Myths and Adoption Misconceptions About Birth Mothers in Oklahoma

There are many myths and misconceptions about birth mothers and adoption. Some are due to harmful depictions in the media while others are due to a lack of understanding. These falsehoods can make the lives of birth mothers very difficult. They can affect how society perceives them and how adoptive families perceive them.

Adoption Choices of Oklahoma wants to aid birth mothers as they embark on their adoption journey. We also want to lift them up by dispelling these harmful myths. Here are some common myths and misconceptions about birth mothers.

Myth/Misconception 1: Birth Mothers Are Troubled or Addicts

Usually, when people hear the words “adoption” and “birth mother,” a very specific image forms in their minds. They usually picture drug addicts or troubled teenagers. These are harmful stereotypes that don’t apply to most birth mothers.

A large variety of women and girls become birth mothers. Teenage birth mothers do exist, but being a teenage birth mother doesn’t automatically mean the girl is a troubled teen. You don’t know her circumstances. Most birth mothers are in their twenties or thirties. Many already have a child (or children) and can’t afford to raise another one. Different people have different reasons for choosing adoption.

Myth/Misconception 2: Birth Mothers are Uncaring and Irresponsible

Many people assume that birth mothers don’t care about their children. They assume that birth mothers use adoption to avoid responsibility. This couldn’t be further from the truth.

Many people don’t understand that adoption is a loving and responsible decision. It takes a lot of love, strength, and maturity for a woman or girl to 1) recognize that she can’t give her child the life they deserve, and 2) decide to find someone – or some people – who can give her child that life. Many say that birth mothers are selfish, but the reality is birth mothers are selfless. They want what’s best for their child. They want to give their child the best life possible and depending on the circumstances, the best life possible might be a life with another family.

A birth mother will never forget about her child, and her love for that child won’t fade no matter how much time passes, no matter how frequently or infrequently she sees that child.

Myth/Misconception 3: Birth Mothers Will Try to Take Their Children Back

Some believe that birth mothers will regret their decision, interrupt the adoptive families’ lives, and try to take their children back. This isn’t true. Birth mothers understand that they won’t have parental rights over their children once the adoption is finalized.

Birth mothers put a lot of time and effort into their adoption plans. They put a lot of thought into choosing adoptive families who will give their children what they need. They wouldn’t let all that work go to waste.

Some birth mothers want to be a part of their child’s life in some shape or form – some may choose open adoption for this reason – but they understand that the adoptive parents are the legal parents.

Pay No Mind to Common Myths and Misconceptions About Birth Mothers

If you’re a birth mother, don’t let these myths and misconceptions discourage you. We understand that you’re going through a difficult time, and we understand that you’re just trying to make the best of your situation. You’re just looking out for your child and yourself. Adoption Choices of Oklahoma will be here to support you through it all.

If you’re an adoptive parent, don’t let these myths and misconceptions affect the way you view birth mothers. Allow your birth mother the opportunity to show you who she is.

Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Oklahoma is a surrogacy and adoption agency, licensed by the state of Oklahoma and leader in the community. We assist both intended parents and gestational carriers (surrogates). Our staff members are committed to providing an ethical, empowering, and personalized experience to all involved in the surrogacy process.
Toll-free: 800-898-6028 | OKC Local: 405-755-1999 | Tulsa Local: 918-447-7777 | Text: 405-310-8790Email

Meet the Author: Heather Valenzano is an up-and-coming content creator with a bachelor’s degree in mass communications and a minor in English. After graduating from Iona College in 2019, she got an internship – and then a part-time job – writing blogs and managing social media accounts for Hip New Jersey, a lifestyle website owned by Long Shot Productions. She has also produced website and social media content for CommonPage, an external collaboration platform.

When she isn’t working, Heather enjoys watching crime shows like Forensic Files or posting book reviews to under the username “LavenderLiterature2.”

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