Toll-free: 800-898-6028 | OKC Local: 405-755-1999 | Tulsa Local: 918-447-7777 | Text: 405-201-6643 | Email

Facing the Adoption Process in Oklahoma: The Unexpected Emotions Involved

By Jonathan Tick

Birth mothers may face different emotions before, during, and after putting a child up for adoption. And it’s completely normal for birth mothers to feel this way. After all, you spent a long time deciding on your baby’s future. So it’s understandable why you may have some attachment to them even after they’re born.  

Some birth mothers may be scared to start families after adoption. Emotions of guilt when they were pregnant and considering adoption before may come up again. Adoption Choices of Oklahoma are here to let you know that it’s ok to feel these emotions and let them all out. And should you need more support for these emotions, your adoption agencies in Oklahoma are here to help.  

Emotions During and After the Adoption Process

Unexpected emotions from a birth mother about their baby can come about at any point during the adoption process. While pregnant, various forms of counseling and therapy aid can be offered via their adoption plan. These can serve as great ways to relieve stress or confusing emotions during difficult times and to reflect on why you chose adoption in the first place.  

Birth mothers can have all kinds of reasons to feel emotions of grief and sadness during their adoption process. Maybe they feel like they failed their child by being unable to raise them. Or they’re saddened by the fact that they won’t have the opportunity to watch their child grow up. Cases like these are just the reasons why a birth mother may need the aid provided by an adoption agency in Oklahoma. We understand that these emotions can be difficult, so it’s important to talk through what you may need with your adoption specialist. So that they can get you the help, you need to process your grief and emotions with the hope that you become an emotionally stronger person at the end of your adoption journey.  

Some birth mothers may also experience these kinds of emotions after the baby’s been born too. Similar grief and regret may arise after they’ve finished putting their child up for adoption. This reason and many others are why Adoption Choices of Oklahoma places so much value on our post-placement process. It gives the birth mother a way to rest, recover, and process what has happened now that their pregnancy is over, as our adoption agencies in Oklahoma want to ensure that birth mothers are back on their feet before leaving.  

Starting a Family After Adoption

But while some birth mothers can move on from their adoption, others may not be able to for other reasons. Namely, because they may be scared about starting a family after adoption, they may feel guilty about giving away their precious baby. Or that they maybe should’ve been the one to care for them instead. Or many other possible reasons that can give them a wave of grief and anxiety because of their previous actions.  

Truth be told? It’s ok to feel this way. However, it’s never a good idea to bottle up any negative emotions you may have. So expressing them and talking it over will do more good than harm. An easy way to approach this is to go back to any adoption agencies near me and go back to your adoption specialist for any help. They may be able to hook you back up with any relevant therapy or counseling to help alleviate your worries and grief.

More importantly, remind yourself why you chose adoption in the first place. Many birth mothers who become pregnant and are considering adoption choose it for a number of different reasons. Those personal reasons usually become a birth mother’s drive as to why they approached an adoption agency in Oklahoma in the first place. And it can be enough reason for some to alleviate their stress altogether.  

Other Ways to Alleviate Grief

But if that doesn’t work out, maybe checking in on your baby can be a good option too. Choosing open adoption during the adoption process gives birth mothers the opportunity to see how their baby is growing up. This can also be a way to give birth mothers the relief they need to be more prepared and start a family of their own. After all, if their baby can find themselves in a happy family, maybe they can provide one for another too.  

At the end of the day, processing any unexpected grief can be done for any birth mother given the right support. Whether or not that be coming back to one of our adoption agencies or seeking support from family. Know that it’s okay to feel this way at the end of the day. But feel reassured that your baby’s future is still bright as you start your own family with confidence.

Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Oklahoma is a surrogacy and adoption agency licensed by the state of Oklahoma and a leader in the community. We assist both intended parents and gestational carriers (surrogates). Our staff members are committed to providing an ethical, empowering, and personalized experience to all involved in the surrogacy process.
Toll-free: 800-898-6028 | OKC Local: 405-755-1999 | Tulsa Local: 918-447-7777 | Text: 405-201-6643Email

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