Fears Birth Mothers Have About Open Adoption
By Miranda Frank
Choosing adoption can be difficult, and it’s completely normal for birth mothers to have fears and worries along the way. Today, we’re diving into the world of open adoption and exploring five common fears that birth mothers often have about this type of adoption. If you are considering putting a child up for adoption, open adoption can bring its own set of concerns.
Adoption Choices of Oklahoma is here to provide some insights, support, and reassurance. All of your fears and concerns are valid, and we understand that putting a child up for adoption involves very complicated decisions. Our team is committed to supporting birth mothers through the adoption process, providing whatever support and resources you might need.
What is Open Adoption?
Birth mothers considering adoption will create an adoption plan that includes important information about what they want the adoption to look like. This will include a choice of open adoption, semi-open adoption, or closed adoption. Open adoption provides opportunities for you to maintain a high level of communication with the adoptive parents and develop a relationship with your child.
The other alternatives involve less or no communication with the adoptive family. If you choose open adoption, you might be excited about the possibility of developing these new relationships, but it might also be intimidating for a number of reasons.
Open Adoption Fears Birth Mothers Might Have
1. I Am Afraid I Will be Judged for My Decision
One common fear among birth mothers is that they will be judged by others for their decision to place their child for adoption. You may fear facing criticism or being labeled as “unfit” or “selfish” by those who don’t fully understand your circumstances. Some people still believe that putting a child up for adoption is something to be ashamed of, but that is completely untrue. If this is a concern of yours, it is important to focus on your own motivations and desires.
Take the time to understand your decision and feel comfortable with it. This will allow you to separate that choice from those outside voices. If you are looking for outside support, Adoption Choices of Oklahoma can help as well. Members of our team will be there for you throughout your adoption journey to listen and support you.
2. I Am Afraid of Regretting Choosing Open Adoption
Birth mothers may experience fear of regretting their decision to place her child for adoption in the future. They may worry about the emotional impact it may have on them and the grief and loss associated with adoption. It is important that you take time to heal and rest after birth and the adoption. Acknowledge the stress of the process, and own what has been difficult. By accepting and acknowledging any pain or emotional difficulty, you can move through whatever grieving process you need to heal.
If you give your decision careful thought and own the loss you experience, you can feel more assurance in your choice. Regret is natural, but if you are sure about what you feel, it may only be fleeting.
3. I Am Afraid of Losing Control Throughout My Adoption
There may be a fear of losing control over the child’s life and well-being. You may worry about whether the adoptive family will provide the love, care, and opportunities you desire for your child. There may even be fear that you will no longer have a say in your child’s upbringing and future.
When you decide to place your baby for adoption, your adoption plan becomes the guideline for that process. When developing this plan, make sure you communicate these fears and what you want for your child. Your desires will be carefully taken into account in this plan. This will become a guide for the type of home your child will have. You will also have the opportunity to learn more about prospective adoptive parents to ensure that they meet your criteria.
Adoption Choices of Oklahoma can work with you to make sure that your child will be raised in a home you approve of. While you might be giving up some control, you can know that your desires will be respected and taken into account.
4. I Am Afraid of Being Forgotten in My Birth Child’s Life
Birth mothers may worry about being forgotten or pushed aside as time goes on. You may fear that once the adoption is finalized, your role and importance in the child’s life will diminish. There may be fear that you could be left out of significant milestones and moments in their life. Even if you have chosen open adoption, you might be afraid that you will still feel separated from the child or the family. This is another concern that you can address in your adoption plan and in communicating with the adoptive parents. By clearly expressing your desires early on, you set a foundation for open communication.
Choosing to Place Baby for an Oklahoma Open Adoption
Starting to develop this relationship with the adoptive family can help you feel more comfortable later on. Lay out your expectations and wishes, which might include regular visits, check-ins, phone calls, or some other kind of contact. By expressing your expectations, you establish a precedent that can feel comforting if you have any fears about separation.
If you are in Oklahoma and looking for adoption agencies near you, Adoption Choices of Oklahoma has dealt with private adoption in Oklahoma for over 25 years. You may be afraid of what may come along with an open adoption, and that is normal. Reach out to us by call, text, or through our site, and tell us all about your concerns. No matter what your situation is, we want to help.
