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getting matched with an adoptive family

Every parent has hopes and dreams for their child. A hopeful image of who he or she could become. Through the years, though, this picture can sometimes shift as the child’s sense of self emerges and they express their own wants and desires. It is up to the parent, and their parenting style, on how they respond to their child’s wishes. As the birth mother, it might feel like you have to figure out your child’s entire future in one sitting, all the while combating the emotions of not having an active part of your son or daughter’s life post delivery. But that’s not what getting matched with an adoptive family is all about.

Adoption Choices of Oklahoma doesn’t want you to feel rushed to choose an adoptive family. We understand that this isn’t an easy decision, and that it will take time. Our trained and compassionate caseworkers are here to support you each step of the way. Each and every prospective adoptive profile book we present has been selected per your specific and previously provided criteria.

Type of Adoption

By the time you’ve reached the Matching Process, you’ve already established what you’re looking for in a prospective adoptive family. Type of adoption being one of them. You know how much privacy and what level of openness you want moving forward. If you’re still wavering on this at all, ask for further guidance when you meet with your caseworker. Discuss your thoughts and fears honestly. See if you can determine anything more definite one way or the other.

If this is something you feel more lax on, express this also to the caseworker so this can be reflected in the selections chosen. We do our utmost to see that you’re getting matched with an adoptive family that fits within your needs and desires.

Location

When you think of the perfect location, what comes to mind? For me, it’s someplace I can be close to the water and see the mountains. Somewhere that isn’t landlocked. So, if I had a choice, I’d strongly prefer to live in a state along the coast. In the broader scheme of things, I’ve kept pretty true to that.

Location can hold a lot of significance and feeling of identity. If this feels true to you when getting matched with an adoptive family, make sure to mention that. Explain what environments, climates or places capture your interest. Provide any details or reasons that you can. This will help us find prospective adoptive families in those regions, and simplify the Matching Process for you.

Ethnicity

Red, yellow, black or white. Ethnicity can make or break a match for some. Do you have a particular preference? Are there any races or ethnicity you are absolutely against? Is it important that your child is raised within the same ethnicity as you?

While the United States may be predominantly Caucasian, we are also known as the world’s “melting pot.” In fact, mixed families are becoming increasingly more common. Studies are showing that families who embrace diversity are developing like-minded children. Young men and women who grow up with a broader view of the world, and who are more excited to learn about the varying cultures around them. However, if that’s not something you’re looking for, it’s important to specify when it comes to getting matched with an adoptive family. We will harbor no judgement either way.

Religion

This is another aspect of getting matched with an adoptive family that birth mothers often feel strongly about, whether positively or negatively. Was religion a big part of your childhood? Is it important to you now? Why or why not?

It’s completely up to you to state how important the role of religion is in your future child’s life. If you want your son or daughter to be raised within the same blanket of beliefs that you were as a child or young adult, you will most likely have a more positive inclination to find an adoptive family that shares this value. If not, then adoptive families who don’t practice will appear more ideal. Another option is to state your indifference, and leave room for your child to make up their own minds about the topic.

Pets

There’s nothing quite like growing up around furry creatures. Dogs, cats, bunnies, fish — the list goes on. If you had pets in your childhood, you know the feeling. You have many memories of kittens running around the Christmas tree, playing fetch with your puppy in the park, or watching your school of goldfish lightly nibble away at the plastic seaweed in its fish tank. Pets have a special impact on our lives, and tend to lessen our stress levels and make us more laid back overall.

Getting matched with an adoptive family with furry friends in their pictures can grab your heartstrings immediately and put them at the top of your list. If you didn’t have pets growing up, think about if a pet-friendly adoptive family is important to you or not. Would you rather your child experience the joy of having a pet? Make sure that your caseworker knows one way or the other.

Getting Matched with an Adoptive Family

Whether you are matching your son or daughter pre or post birth, choosing an adoptive family for them is a big decision. Especially without knowing what the future itself will hold for your child. But that’s why Adoption Choices of Oklahoma has each and every prospective adoptive family create profile books full of photos and stories. We want to give you the best glimpse of each match as much as possible, to help ease some of the stress and anxiety for you. With the numerous types of families available, there is a match for everyone.

Remember that during the Matching Process you are in control. The prospective adoptive family isn’t alerted either way until you’ve made a decision, so you don’t need to worry about them needing a response at any given time. Getting matched with an adoptive family is your time. Your moment to go through each profile book, and select based on your criteria and to the best of your ability.

Adoption Choices of Oklahoma

If you are currently in the process of adopting a baby and have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact, Adoption Choices of Oklahoma. You may visit our website here or call 405-794-7500 (Oklahoma City) or 918-982-6220 (Tulsa).

Support Adoption Choices

CrowdriseAdoption Choices, Inc. is partnering with Crowdrise, a fundraising website for nonprofits, to help our adoptive parents and birth parents with much needed financial assistance. We understand that expenses keep clients from fulfilling their dreams. Both with birth parents making a plan for adoption, and with adoptive parents growing their family. It is our mission to provide financial assistance through grants and scholarships, awarded annually in November, in honor of National Adoption Month. Funds assist adoptive parents with matching and placements, adoption finalization and helping birth mothers improve their lives through higher education — and much more.

However, we can’t do it alone. Please read up on our programs and donate money where you are able. Your donation will make a huge impact.

About the Author

Rachel RobertsonRachel Robertson is a published journalist, book editor, certified Publishing Specialist, and aspiring novelist. She graduated from Central Washington University (CWU) in March 2011, having found her writing voice within the Creative Nonfiction genre and grew to work as a freelance book editor for small presses all across the United States.

In June 2018, she embarked on an internship with Virginia Frank and came on board with Adoption Choices Inc., Not for Profit 501(c)(3), in December 2018. Between her mutual passion with adoption and surrogacy, and her own personal history with adoption, Rachel is excited to research and share topics each week that will spread awareness and better serve the faithful patrons of Adoption Choices Inc.

When Rachel isn’t haunting her local Starbucks or Barnes and Noble, she’s avidly pouring over her Writer’s Digest subscription or cozying up with a cup of tea and a book. She currently resides in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with her beloved wife and Border Collie.
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Sources:

“7 Considerations For Birth Mothers When Choosing Adoptive Parents.” Adoption Network, Adoption Network Law Center – Safer Than Adoption Agencies, adoptionnetwork.com/7-considerations-for-birth-mothers-when-choosing-adoptive-parents.

“How Did You Choose the Adoptive Parents for Your Child?” Binti, binti.com/birth-mothers/blogs/how-did-i-choose-adoptive-parents/.

“What Do Expectant Moms Look for in Adoptive Parents.” Creating a Family, 11 Mar. 2019, creatingafamily.org/adoption-category/adoption-blog/what-do-expectant-moms-look-for-adoptive-parents/.

“What to Look for in an Adoptive Family.” Birthmothers Choice, 1 Sept. 2016, www.birthmotherschoice.com/look-adoptive-family/.

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