Giving my Baby Up for Adoption, Will I Regret it?

When it comes to adoption, there is no easy way to go about it. There are so many what-ifs that you may feel like you are lost in them. One of the biggest ones is if you’ll regret choosing adoption. The short answer to this question is a maybe. We here at Adoption Choices of Oklahoma wish we could say that you would never regret placing your child for adoption.

There are plenty of emotions that come with adoption, and not all of them are positive. That much we can say. You may feel a whole range of them. Let’s answer the question though, will you regret placing your child for adoption?

Emotions are Guaranteed

No matter what you decide, the emotions are going to come. You may not feel all of them, but it is natural to feel grief. Grief is normal as you did carry the little one for nine months, and then you have to say goodbye for now, depending on what type of adoption you decide to go through.

Going through the stages of grief have their own set of emotions. It is perfectly normal to go through them, though. This is why it is normal to feel a sense of regret for your choice. You could regret it at the moment, but you may not regret it long term. Sadness is a strong emotion, and it is not easy to go through. However, this grief is normal, and you should go through it.

That is why it is important to ask if you truly regret the decision or if you are still trying to heal from your choice. Healing isn’t easy. There is nothing about healing that makes it easy for you to do. Depending on your situation, you may not only be healing from choosing adoption but also healing from a bad place in life. Healing is going to take effort.

Regret or Healing?

You will find stories online of birth mothers regretting their choice. What it boils down to in most cases is they never took the time to really heal. Adoption is a hard choice that isn’t made lightly. You can most likely understand that since you are going through the process now. Adoption can, in the simplest words, suck to go through. It has amazing moments where you can see the good in the choice and know that it is right. However, there are times it hits hard, and you may feel like you won’t be able to make it through. That is natural.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself if you feel like you might regret your choice or if you do regret it.

• Have you processed your grief and all the other emotions that go along with choosing adoption?
• If you think about it, do you feel like you honestly made the wrong decision for yourself and your child?
• If you could go back in time and change your decision, would you?
• Could you honestly provide what you and your child need right now?
• Have you talked to your support team, or have you kept it all to yourself?

Just like the adoption process, you should have a support team with you post-adoption. It isn’t an easy process to go through, and there are sure to be emotions after. Having people, you can talk to and just be around can help. No matter who you are or how strong you are, having a support team is key. Going through this alone isn’t necessary, and you shouldn’t have to.

If you have no one around, your adoption agency can still support you. Just because you went through the process doesn’t mean that we don’t care about you now. We have resources to help you through post-adoption as well.

Do You Need to Heal from Adoption?

If you have found that you are still trying to heal, then you should take that time to do so. Adoption is difficult, and it takes a toll on your emotions. No matter how strong you are, you should allow yourself to feel them. Regret could easily just be grief that you need to process. If you are having a hard time and need extra support reach out to Adoption Choices of Nevada for more resources. Do you regret adoption, or do you need to do some healing?

Adoption Choices of Oklahoma is a private adoption agency, licensed by the state of Oklahoma and leader in the adoption community. We have been assisting birth parents, children, and adoptive families in Oklahoma for over 19 years. Our staff members are committed to providing an ethical, empowering, and personalized adoption experience to all involved in the adoption process.  If you are currently in the process of adopting a baby and have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact us.
Toll-free: 800-898-6028 | OKC Local: 405-755-1999 | Tulsa Local: 918-447-7777 | Text: 405-310-8790 | Email

Meet the Author: Heather Valenzano is an up-and-coming content creator with a bachelor’s degree in mass communications and a minor in English. After graduating from Iona College in 2019, she got an internship – and then a part-time job – writing blogs and managing social media accounts for Hip New Jersey, a lifestyle website owned by Long Shot Productions. She has also produced website and social media content for CommonPage, an external collaboration platform.

When she isn’t working, Heather enjoys watching crime shows like Forensic Files or posting book reviews to OnlineBookClub.org under the username “LavenderLiterature2.”