Grief Associated with Giving Your Baby Up For Adoption in OK
Considering adoption has never been easy for any birth mother. No one can even begin to comprehend the emotions you must be dealing with right now. In fact, many things might not be making sense for you. Your loved ones might be saying one thing to you, your friends another, and you might be thinking something completely different. Or you might not have been able to discuss your situation with anyone yet. This might cause you to feel alone and isolated. Please know that Adoption Choices of Oklahoma is here for you during this time. We are not simply an adoption center. We are caring and compassionate professionals that will not treat you as just another name.
You are a brave birth mother who is experiencing grief that is commonly associated with adoption, which is why we would like to acknowledge your grief.
Grief Can Occur When You Are Thinking of An Adoption Plan for Your Baby
Birth mom’s, the grief you are experiencing is more common than you may think. Because you are nurturing a part of you for months, during this time, you might become attached to your baby. That’s why thinking of giving your baby up for adoption can cause grief.
First, let’s go over the commonly known seven stages of grief. These stages are known as
- Shock or disbelief. Such as when you must have initially heard the news of your pregnancy. This pregnancy might have confused you or caused fear.
- You might have thought to yourself, “this can’t be happening right now,” as this might be an unwanted or unplanned pregnancy for you.
- This can be with yourself or even others as you try to make sense of this all or explain to your loved ones what has occurred. These are your “what if” and “if only” statements.
- This guilt can make you think that your loss is unbearable and that you won’t be able to recover from it. You might be thinking, “how can I give my baby up for adoption?”
- You might feel frustrated or even embarrassed, causing you to lash out at loved ones or inanimate objects.
- This stage might cause you to think if you’ll ever be able to move on at all. It can be overwhelming and heavy. Like all of the other stages of grief, this stage might be different depending on each person.
- This stage does not magically fix everything. But, it allows you to come to terms with your situation and allows you to finally move on.
If you are in the guilt stage right now, you might think, “how can I possibly give my baby away?” Well, currently, you might be in a situation or a place in your life where keeping and raising your baby would not be an ideal option for you and your baby. Keeping your baby might cause more harm than benefits to you and your baby. By allowing a loving family to offer your baby a bright future, not only is your decision allowing you to reach the acceptance stage, but it also enables endless possibilities for your baby. If you are experiencing such a situation, choosing adoption as an option, especially with our adoption agency, you are doing right by your child.
You Are Not Careless for Giving Your Baby up For Adoption
Thoughts like “well, don’t all mothers care for their children? Moms don’t just give their baby up” might be roaming through your head. Associating carelessness and adoption is unfortunate, and it can be harmful to birth moms and the Oklahoma adoption process. Birth mothers are far from careless. The very decision of considering adoption stems from caring about your baby and worrying about their future. Many birth moms may not have the financial ability to raise a baby, for example. Many expenses come with raising a child, and if you are experiencing a teenage pregnancy, the difficulties can be heightened. Raising a baby in such a situation can be harmful to you and your baby.
Birth mothers who have bravely made the decision of giving their baby up for adoption find the right family for their baby, allowing a life that their baby deserves. A life that they may have been unable to provide if they had decided to keep the baby. We understand that it’s not easy to raise a child. So, if you have courageously made the decision to choose adoption as an option, you are actually putting all your desires, needs, and wants behind you and putting your baby first. This is something that the best of moms do for their children.
Take Care of Yourself During the Adoption Process
If you’re feeling down and this process is overwhelming you, what should you do?
- Take deep breaths. You can count back from 10 if you like or you can simply inhale and exhale. This helps with heart regulation and can help you feel more relaxed.
- Take breaks. With so many things on your mind, please don’t forget to take breaks. It can be as simple as taking five minutes to yourself.
- Call a loved one or your friends. Communicating how you’re feeling with people close to you can help you through this difficult time.
- This doesn’t have to be anything fancy. Anything like simple affirmations can aid with decreasing your grief. Try to repeat these affirmations to yourself “in my sadness, I love myself” and “it’s okay to take time to grieve.”
- Watch a movie or your favorite show. Watching something can help take your mind off of sad things happening around you. A comedy film might put a smile on your face during this hard time.
- Eat comfort food. Eating what you love will not only nourish you but will also release a certain amount of dopamine that will allow you to feel happy and reduce stress. But, it’s important to remember that comfort foods that are high in fat or sugar are not recommended. Your health is of utmost importance. Eating what you love in moderate amounts can help with this.
- Take a nap. Research shows that not taking care of your sleep and rest can worsen grief. That’s something we need to avoid. Taking a 10-20 minute power nap can boost alertness and energy. While taking a 90-minute nap improves emotions and creativity.
Unwanted Pregnancy Options: Our Free Counseling Services Available to You
We get it. It can be hard to do all of this on your own. Maybe you don’t need a loved one to confide in right now, and doing all of this on your own is a bit too much with everything else happening in your life. It can all get overwhelming quickly. Someone that can really help navigate your grief are the compassionate and licensed counselors at Adoption Choices of Oklahoma. We have the experience that will successfully help you through this journey. Please take advantage of this service for birth moms as it is of no cost to you. You can utilize our counseling services before and after you give birth. We offer our amazing counseling services to your extended family as well!
An Adoption Agency Near You Working for You
Please know that experiencing grief during the Oklahoma adoption process is common. We know and understand this grief, which is why we are here for you. With everything else going on in your life, the last thing you need is added stress about your baby’s adoption. Luckily, at Adoption Choices of Oklahoma, you will get to experience top-class services with caring professionals by your side throughout the entire adoption process. Contact us today, and let’s get started on your adoption journey!
Adoption Choices of Oklahoma is a private adoption agency, licensed by the state of Oklahoma and a leader in the adoption community. We have been assisting birth parents, children, and adoptive families in Oklahoma for over 19 years. Our staff members are committed to providing an ethical, empowering, and personalized adoption experience to all involved in the adoption process. If you are currently in the process of adopting a baby and have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact us.
Toll-free: 800-898-6028 | OKC Local: 405-755-1999 | Tulsa Local: 918-447-7777 | Text: 405-310-8790 | Email
Meet the author: Ifrah Mohammed. Pursuing a Communications-Journalism Bachelor’s degree at Siena College, she is an aspiring content writer. A hard-working daughter of immigrant parents, she was born and raised in Queens, NY, and has resided in Fort Worth, TX. Her passions include writing and traveling. Moving around has allowed her to gain valuable perspective. When she is not writing or traveling, she is baking or reading. She currently resides in
Schenectady, NY, a town 30 minutes away from Albany.