How Doulas Help Surrogate Mothers Through The Surrogacy Process?

The surrogacy process can be complicated and impossible to navigate on your own. Surrogacy agencies play a big part in making the surrogacy process smooth for the surrogate and the intended family. Surrogate agencies can act as a support system for the surrogate mother, but some people may want or need additional assistance, and that’s where doulas come in. Doulas are just one of the several professionals available to surrogate mothers to make the entire surrogacy process the best it can be. Like we said, adoption and surrogacy agencies, like Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Oklahoma, work hard to provide resources, support, and advocacy to those choosing OK surrogacy. While we can offer quite a bit of help for surrogate mothers, bringing in a doula for additional assistance, education, and support can be very beneficial. They are a great tool to have during surrogacy and postpartum. Even if you didn’t have a doula for your previous pregnancies, you might want to consider one for your surrogacy.

What is a Doula and How Can She Help During the Surrogacy Process?

Doulas are essentially birth professionals. They provide pregnant women with a wide range of support such as physical, emotional, and informational. Doulas are brought in to help during the pregnancy and for labor and delivery, and early postpartum. You may be surprised at how much a doula makes a difference in your pregnancy and surrogacy experience. Doulas also support the intended family, such as childcare classes for newborn care and parent preparation.

• Pre-Birth Preparations

Before you even start packing a hospital bag, a doula will review the birth plan and make sure the surrogate and intended parents know what to do. If the birth plan doesn’t go exactly as planned, everyone should be prepared to avoid that last-minute panic. The doula is also an advocate for the surrogate mother and the intended parents. They are there to assure the wishes of the birth mother are fulfilled during labor and delivery and the intended parents.

• Labor and Delivery

The main job of the doula is to provide support during labor and delivery. They act as the guide for the surrogate mother through the birth plan, providing emotional support along the way. A doula can help comfort the surrogate mother during labor and positioning for labor progression, helping to reduce emotional impact. Doulas also make sure the surrogate’s partner is as involved in the process as they want to be. If the surrogate doesn’t have a partner, the doula can step in and fill this role. Labor and delivery can be very unpredictable, and having a doula there to ensure everything goes smoothly, even when it does, can reduce stress on everyone involved.

• Postpartum Support

Surrogacy is something that will change you forever, and you may want some help with that transition after the baby is born. Doulas can provide emotional and physical support postpartum for the surrogate mother. They can assist with housework, prepping meals, and even finding lactation support. Communication and support from the intended parents can drop off once the baby is born, and doulas are there to ensure the surrogate mother gets the help she needs. Surrogate’s medical and emotional needs can frequently go unnoticed, which is why doulas offer postpartum assistance and checkups for the surrogate.

• Newborn Care and Support

Postpartum doulas can also help out the intended parents after bringing the baby home. New parents can easily become overwhelmed and need all the help they can get. A lot can be done ahead of time, but as any parent will tell you, you don’t know how things will turn out until you’re in the thick of it. Doulas can help with breastfeeding, diapering, and even traveling with the baby. Any parent will also tell you any time someone is willing to watch the baby for an hour or two, so they can sleep or eat a regular meal is invaluable.

Is There Anything Doulas Can’t Do?

 Doulas can do a lot, but there are a few things that they can’t do.

• Doulas cannot provide medical care or clinical tasks, as they are not medical professionals. Additionally, they cannot give medical advice or diagnoses.
• Doulas can’t make decisions for the surrogate mother or the intended parents. They provide support and make sure the surrogate, baby, and intended parents are advocated for. All decisions have to come from the surrogate.
• Doulas should never pressure or coax the surrogate mother into any decision. They are there to provide education and suggestions but never try to convince anyone to make choices based on their own opinions.

Are Doulas Worth it in Surrogacy?

The answer will vary from person to person. Since surrogates have already been through the pregnancy and labor process without a doula, they may not see the point in it for the second time around. It’s totally understandable that once you’ve done something without help, you may not see the need to have it the next time. Think of it this way, hiking up a mountain is possible on your own but much easier with an experienced guide. Having one successful pregnancy does provide a great amount of knowledge, but doulas have experience with dozens of pregnancies and births. Whether or not a doula is worthwhile is completely up to the surrogate and the intended parents. Surrogates should communicate with the intended parents and discuss whether bringing in a surrogate would be beneficial. In most cases, you may find that a doula will provide more than enough support to make it worthwhile. Are you ready to begin the process? Check out our surrogate website for more information.

Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Oklahoma is a surrogacy and adoption agency, licensed by the state of Oklahoma and a leader in the community. We assist both intended parents and gestational carriers (surrogates). Our staff members are committed to providing an ethical, empowering, and personalized experience to all involved in the surrogacy process.
Toll-free: 800-898-6028 | OKC Local: 405-755-1999 | Tulsa Local: 918-447-7777 | Text: 405-310-8790 | Email

Meet the Author: Michelle Brugioni is a practiced, well-versed college-educated writer and avid coffee drinker. She has ten years of experience as a freelance writer and has written for an alarmingly wide range of clients and publications. She has written on topics like: life science, biopharmaceutical company acquisitions, dealing with anxiety, and creative drinking games. 

As a fearless writer and masterful researcher, each time Michelle is approached with the question, “Can you write this?” she responds confidently with, “When do you need it?”