How to Have A Successful Open Adoption: For Birth Mothers
The most important part of any adoption story is your experiences as a birth mother or as an adoptive family. At Adoption Choices of Oklahoma, we know that the process might be tough throughout the way. We admit that sometimes it is not an easy road. However, the journey and the results are most definitely worth it in the end. Today, we want to share with you what a successful open adoption might look like. Please note that adoption is not one-size-fits-all. Everyone has their own, unique journey and their own unique experiences. Since there’s two sides two every adoption story, we will discuss open adoption through both lenses – the birth family and the adoptive family.
Through the Birth Mother’s Lens
You’re pregnant! While this is normally a time for celebration, maybe the pregnancy is unplanned, and you’re deciding what to do. Perhaps you’re considering placing your baby for adoption, and researching what level of openness you want. While it is a tough decision to make, you know it will lead to the best outcome and future for your child. In reaching out to us at Adoption Choices of Oklahoma, you will be assigned a counselor who will help you through every part of the journey. They are readily available to answer any questions you might have and to just be there for you.
- Choose Level of Openness
Despite choosing adoption, you still want to be a part of your child’s life. This is possible through the open adoption process. In an open adoption, you and the adoptive family can discuss how much contact you will have with your child. Whether that means weekly meetups or phone calls for a birthday every year, you and the adoptive family can determine that contact level together.
- Select Adoptive Family
Throughout the process, you will meet a lot of different families to help find the best fit. However, it is ultimately your decision with what family you choose. While it may be awkward with the adoptive family at first, the more you discuss the plan, the more comfortable you will get with each other. The most important part of the process is that you are true to yourself, and your hopes for the adoptive family. Despite being a challenging process to go through, there are plenty of people to help you along the way.
- The Hospital Experience
It all leads up to the date of your child’s birth and the adoption. In some situations, the adoptive family can come to the hospital and be there from the first day your baby is born. After the process is complete, that does not mean you are out of the picture completely. Rather, through open adoption, you can still stay in contact with your child and get updates through the adoptive family. It is a great opportunity to be able to stay in touch with your child, and watch him or her grow into an amazing young man or woman.
Advice: Stay True to Who You Are
The biggest advice we have for birth families looking to adopt is to stay true to who you are. You will find an adoptive family that meets your needs and the level of openness you wish to have. While it might take a little time, never bend on your values to meet those of an adoptive family. Rather, stay true to who you are and you will eventually find the best match!
In her spare time, Ashley enjoys working on her family ranch with her husband and two children, coaching high school basketball and settling in.
Adoption Choices of Oklahoma is a private adoption agency, licensed by the state of Oklahoma and leader in the adoption community. We have been assisting birth parents, children, and adoptive families in Oklahoma for over 19 years. Our staff members are committed to providing an ethical, empowering, and personalized adoption experience to all involved in the adoption process. If you are currently in the process of adopting a baby and have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact us.
Meet the Author: Hannah Carlsward is an aspiring journalist and photographer. She is currently a senior at Flagler College in St. Augustine, FL., where she studies journalism with minors in American Sign Language and Media Studies. Hannah loves connecting the world through her photography and stories, and loves showing people a new perspective on the world around them.
She aspires to continue in both writing and photography in the future, hopefully combining the two with the work she does. When she is not taking photos, she can always be found on some kind of adventure. She loves exploring the world and sharing it with others. You can see more of her work on her Instagram and her website.