How to Have A Successful Open Adoption: For The Adoptive Family
Whether you’re a single parent, an LGBT couple, or anything in between, Adoption Choices of Oklahoma is ready and willing to help anybody who opens their heart to adoption. There are many different reasons why you might choose adoption as well, and every situation is unique. However, the same is the love you wish to give to a child despite them not being your own.
Last week, we focused on what a successful open adoption would look like through the birth mother’s perspective. This week, we are shifting the lens to the adoptive family. The journey for you as a family looking to adopt might be longer than that of a birth mother. We admit that it sometimes is not an easy road to take. However, just know that we will be here for you through every step of the way, and that the end result is so worth it!
Through the Adoptive Family’s Lens
For you, the decision to adopt is not normally unexpected. Rather, your life has led you on that path and it is something you have thought long and hard about. Sometimes, you cannot have a child on your own. Thus, you turn to adoption as a way to still have that opportunity to have a family of your own. While every reason and every story is different, what is the same is your willingness to share your home and the love you have with a newborn baby.
- Meet Adoption Counselor
Just like with a birth family, you will be placed with a counselor to help you throughout the process. From classes to paperworks to plans, the amount of information you receive might be overwhelming. However, just know that your counselor will constantly be available to answer any questions you have throughout the process.
- Choose Level of Openness
Early on in the process, you will be asked to fill out a bio about yourself. This could include your values, morals and how you plan to raise a child. In that bio, you will also be asked how much connection you want the birth mother to have with the child while he or she is growing up. If choosing an open adoption, you and the birth family can decide how much contact they will have with the child.
For the birth mother, open adoption is a great chance to still be a part of the child’s life and communicate in whatever way you all decide is best. For the adoptive family, open adoption helps you to be completely transparent with the child about the adoption process, and can help with various things like family medical histories, backgrounds and altogether just having additional support.
- Waiting for the Perfect Match
The wait to get matched depends on the family. Sometimes, the matches can be fairly quick while other times the matches can take a little longer. However, the most important thing is that you stay true to yourself. At the end of the day, the family and the child chooses you. It is so important throughout the process that you stay true to your values and morals, and be transparent about those with the birth mothers.
- The Hospital Experience
Once you find that perfect match, your counselors will help connect you to the family and continue to keep you in contact with them up until the birth of the baby. In some cases, you can be in the hospital with the birth mother from the first day they are born. While there are some final papers that need to be signed before you officially have custody of the child, the counselors will be with you at the hospital as well to ensure everything goes smoothly for the birth mother and for you.
Advice: Be Patient
The best advice we can give to adoptive families is to be patient. While there is a chance you can get matched right away, there is also a chance you might have to wait a little bit to find that perfect match. However, just remember to be patient and open to the process. The proper family will come not necessarily when you want it to, but when it is supposed to. While it might get difficult at times, the end result will most definitely be worth it. So, stay strong and don’t give up!
We Are Here For You
We know that every success story is different and unique, and no circumstances will be exactly the same. No matter what your story is, though, know that Adoption Choices of Oklahoma is always here to help you! Whether you’re a birth mother, an adoptive family, or anyone in between, never be scared to reach out to our team if you have any questions. We are here to help you!
Adoption Choices of Oklahoma is a private adoption agency, licensed by the state of Oklahoma and leader in the adoption community. We have been assisting birth parents, children, and adoptive families in Oklahoma for over 19 years. Our staff members are committed to providing an ethical, empowering, and personalized adoption experience to all involved in the adoption process. If you are currently in the process of adopting a baby and have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact us.
Meet the Author: Hannah Carlsward is an aspiring journalist and photographer. She is currently a senior at Flagler College in St. Augustine, FL., where she studies journalism with minors in American Sign Language and Media Studies. Hannah loves connecting the world through her photography and stories, and loves showing people a new perspective on the world around them.
She aspires to continue in both writing and photography in the future, hopefully combining the two with the work she does. When she is not taking photos, she can always be found on some kind of adventure. She loves exploring the world and sharing it with others. You can see more of her work on her Instagram and her website.