Kinship Adoption or Private Adoption: Which is Right for You?

The most important part of creating an adoption plan is finding the adoptive parents, the people who will raise your son or daughter. As a young birth mother considering adoption, you may be wondering what the best course of action is.

Who would make suitable adoptive parents? How do I find them? Can a friend or family member adopt my child? Would my child be better off living with a relative, or would he or she be better off with someone I’ve never met before?

You could have a family member adopt your child, or you could find an adoptive parent (or adoptive parents) though private adoption. You’ll have to decide which option is best for you.

What is Kinship Adoption?

Kinship adoption is when a family member agrees to adopt your child. This is someone who is related to the birth mother, either from her immediate or extended family. The adoptive parent might be the child’s biological grandparent, aunt, uncle, or cousin. Distant relatives would have to go through the private adoption process.

The birth mother would have to willingly let a relative adopt her child. She shouldn’t be forced to place her child in the care of a relative.

A birth mother may choose adoption by a family member because there may be a level of certainty and security for her. After all, she already knows who the adoptive parents are. She may know about their lifestyle, their daily routine, and their beliefs. If the adoptive parents are her own parents, then she already knows what their parenting style is.

It may be harder to set boundaries when a child is adopted by a family member. If the birth mother sees the adoptive parents regularly – if the adoptive parents are her own parents, for example – it may be difficult to see them act like a parent to her child. It may be easier if the birth mother doesn’t live with or near the relative who adopted her child. This, of course, depends on the person and the situation. Some birth mothers may feel comfortable watching their relatives raise their child, and others may not.

What is Private Adoption?

Private adoption is when a birth mother places her child in the care of someone outside her family. Birth mothers can find adoptive parents through private adoption agencies like Adoption Choices of Oklahoma.

A birth mother using an adoption agency will have the opportunity to choose who her child will grow up with. She’ll receive adoptive parent profiles on couples and individuals seeking to adopt. After analyzing the profiles and selecting the adoptive parents, she’ll get to meet with them, depending on what type of adoption she chooses. During said meeting, everyone can discuss what they want from the adoption.

Regarding the specific type of adoption, a birth mother gets to choose between open adoption, closed adoption, and semi-open adoption. Depending on her adoption plan, she may have regular or limited contact with her child.

What will You Choose: Kinship Adoption or Private Adoption?

Adoption Choices of Oklahoma is here to guide you through your adoption journey. We can’t tell you whether kinship adoption or private adoption is the right choice or not. Only you know what’s best. Our adoption agency does not offer kinship adoption, but we can give you all the information and resources you need to learn more about private adoption.

Take time to think over what’s best for you and your child. What aspects of kinship adoption appeal to you? What aspects of private adoption appeal to you? How much contact do you want with your child? Would you feel comfortable living under the same roof as your child? Knowing what you want will help you determine what type of adoption you should commit to.

Adoption Choices of Oklahoma is a private adoption agency, licensed by the state of Oklahoma and leader in the adoption community. We have been assisting birth parents, children, and adoptive families in Oklahoma for over 19 years. Our staff members are committed to providing an ethical, empowering, and personalized adoption experience to all involved in the adoption process.  If you are currently in the process of adopting a baby and have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact us.

Toll-free: 800-898-6028 | OKC Local: 405-755-1999 | Tulsa Local: 918-447-7777 | Text: 405-310-8790 | Email

Meet the Author: Heather Valenzano is an up-and-coming content creator with a bachelor’s degree in mass communications and a minor in English. After graduating from Iona College in 2019, she got an internship – and then a part-time job – writing blogs and managing social media accounts for Hip New Jersey, a lifestyle website owned by Long Shot Productions. She has also produced website and social media content for CommonPage, an external collaboration platform.

When she isn’t working, Heather enjoys watching crime shows like Forensic Files or posting book reviews to OnlineBookClub.org under the username “LavenderLiterature2.”