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Misconceptions about Oklahoma Birth Mothers

By Sadie Fidler

Finding out you are pregnant can be a shock to your system, especially if the pregnancy is unplanned. A million different thoughts may be racing through your mind as you figure out what to do. If you do not feel ready to raise a child, the pressure to make the best decision can be overwhelming. Unplanned pregnancy help that is right for you can be hard to find. 

At Adoption Choices of Oklahoma, we understand that every birth mother’s story is different and requires individualized care and attention. We aim to make the process of giving your baby up for adoption less scary. That is why we are here to help you debunk some common misconceptions about birth mothers and the adoption process.

Misconception 1: Placing Your Baby Up for Adoption Is Giving Up

Many of the misconceptions and stereotypes about adoption come from a narrow point of view. They often fail to take into account each birth mother’s individual situation. Unfortunately, some people do not know much about adoption or the reasons behind it. These individuals may believe that a woman placing her child up for adoption makes her a bad and selfish person. In reality, the decision to place your baby up for adoption is often a difficult one. Birth mothers choose adoption for all sorts of reasons, but almost always with the best intentions in mind. 

Putting a child up for adoption is an extremely selfless and brave decision. It requires you to decide that your child would benefit from a life raised by others. You may come to this conclusion for a number of reasons, including:

  • Not being mentally ready to raise a child 
  • Being unable to provide necessities for your child

By placing your child up for adoption, you are not giving up on them. You are working to find the best environment possible for your child and ensure they receive the care they need. 

Misconception 2: Birth Mothers Who Choose Adoption are Always Teen Mothers

In many forms of popular media, birth mothers are often depicted as teenagers. Consequently, many people believe that being a teenager is the most common reason to place your child up for adoption. In reality, however, teens represent a fraction of the birth mothers that Adoption Choices of Oklahoma works with. Birth mothers place their children up for adoption for a variety of reasons. Many of which have nothing to do with the age of the mother. 

At Adoption Choices of Oklahoma, we understand the difficulties that come with choosing adoption. Because of this, we aim to provide tailored care when coordinating an adoption plan. We know that every adoption process is unique and requires different guidance for each individual. 

Misconception 3: Placing Your Baby Up for Adoption Means You Will Never See Them Again

From an outside perspective, it may seem like adoption means the child will never see their birth mother again. But in this day and age, the child, adoptive family, and birth mother have the option to stay in contact. Whether they decide to keep a line of communication open is up to the birth mother. 

The idea of a child never seeing their birth mother again is based on what is called a closed adoption. In this type of adoption, the identity of the birth mother is anonymous to the adoptive family and child. This, however, is not the only arrangement that Adoption Choices of Oklahoma caters to. 

Adoption Choices of Oklahoma also participates in what is called an open adoption. This refers to the birth mother having the option to keep a line of communication open with their child. In an ideal open adoption, the birth mother will maintain a high level of communication with the adoptive family. To achieve this, the identity of the birth mother is known to both the adoptive family and child. 

If neither of these types of adoption sound appealing, a semi-open adoption may be right for you. It involves a combination of both an open and closed adoption process. Working with one of our adoption agencies in Oklahoma, the adoptive family and birth mother often communicate through a mediator. This ensures that the birth mother is involved in the process while remaining discrete.

Misconception 4: Birth Mothers Are Not Involved in Private Adoption in Oklahoma

Another adoption myth is that the adoptive family and adoption agency are the only ones involved in decision making. But at Adoption Choices of Oklahoma, we involve the birth mother in every step of adoption planning. It is our goal to make sure that all of your needs and wants are being met. 

Oftentimes, the birth mother will not be present in the child’s life post-adoption. Some may assume that, because of this, the birth mother is not the primary decision maker during a closed adoption. But just because the birth mother may not be involved post-adoption does not mean she cannot make decisions. Our agency recognizes the difficulty of the process and wants you to feel comfortable and in control the entire time. 

Misconception 5: Adoption Agencies in Oklahoma Do Not Provide Support Resources to Birth Mothers

Some assume that since the birth mother is letting go of her child, she can easily move on post-adoption. This is false. Between pregnancy, birth, and adoption coordination, birth mothers may encounter a great deal of stress, alongside other emotions. Both during and after the adoption process, birth mothers may experience complicated feelings like guilt and grief. These feelings can add emotional strain and challenges to everyday life for birth mothers. 

At Adoption Choices of Oklahoma, our team of adoption specialists help us provide the best support possible to birth mothers. We understand the complexities of adoption and are here to assist in any way we can. From financial assistance to free counseling, we offer an array of support services. We also provide resources to ensure you are receiving proper prenatal and birth care. In short, we aim to make your adoption process as smooth and stress-free as possible.

Choosing Adoption with Adoption Choices of Oklahoma 

Giving your baby up for adoption is a selfless decision. And we are here to support you through the whole process. As a private adoption agency, we value flexibility and your input during your child’s adoption. We believe adoption is a choice that can be customized to ensure a fulfilling life for your child.  

Our adoption agencies in Oklahoma are committed to providing birth mothers with a sense of control throughout the adoption process. By debunking some common misconceptions around adoption, we hope to ease your mind. If you are interested in learning more about the adoption process, please contact Adoption Choices of Oklahoma

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