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Oklahoma Adoption When the Birth Father is Unknown or Unsupportive

The relationship between a birth mother and a birth father will vary from case to case. Some birth mothers are still with their child’s biological father. Other birth mothers are no longer with the biological father. Some don’t know who the father is.

Likewise, a birth father’s response to a birth mother’s adoption plan will vary from case to case. Some birth fathers will be very supportive. They’ll participate in the adoption process, and they’ll willingly sign away their parental rights, just like the birth mothers. Other birth fathers may be against adoption; they may be completely uninvolved in the adoption process. Some birth fathers may be absent and, thus, unaware of the adoption.

As a birth mother, you probably have a lot of questions and concerns about the birth father’s role in the adoption process.

Does the birth father need to be involved in the adoption process? What if I don’t know who the father is? What if he doesn’t support adoption? Will I have to cancel my adoption plan?

Fortunately, Adoption Choices of Oklahoma is here to educate and support you. We’ve worked with many birth mothers (and birth fathers) over the years. We’re aware of the different situations birth mothers face when it comes to the birth father’s involvement, so we can fill you in on what you need to know.

When a Birth Father is Unknown or Unreachable

Depending on the situation, the birth mother may or may not know who her child’s biological father is. Maybe she’s had multiple partners over the past few months. Maybe the birth mother had a one-night stand with a stranger, or maybe her child was conceived through rape.

If the birth mother doesn’t know who the birth father is, adoption specialists will try to locate him. If the adoption specialists find him, they’ll contact him. Once he’s aware of the adoption plan, he’ll be able to legally surrender his parental rights. If the adoption specialists are unable to locate or contact the birth father, it’s possible to carry out the adoption plan without him

There are also situations where the birth father is known but unreachable. Maybe the birth father and birth mother dated briefly before splitting up. Maybe the birth father moved away, and the birth mother lost contact with him. Regardless, if the birth father is unreachable, the adoption can proceed.

When a Birth Father is Unsupportive

When a birth mother knows who the biological father is, she’ll have to tell him about the pregnancy and the adoption plan. This can be nerve-racking because there’s a chance the birth father won’t support adoption. There are several different reasons why he might not support adoption.

Unfortunately, there’s still a lot of stigma around adoption. Due to myths and misconceptions, many people frown upon birth mothers, their children, and adoption as a whole. If the birth father doesn’t support adoption, there’s a chance he may not understand the process. As the birth mother, you can try to explain why you believe adoption is the best option for you and your child. Adoption agencies in Oklahoma, like Adoption Choices of Oklahoma can also educate him on the adoption process.

Some birth fathers may be against adoption because they want to raise the child. If a birth father wants custody, he’ll have to prove that he’s prepared for fatherhood. He’ll have to prove that he can provide for the child. If he can’t provide the necessary support, the adoption process can resume.

Some birth fathers may try to convince birth mothers to get an abortion because it’s “the obvious solution” or “the only option,” or “the easy way out.” They don’t think about the physical and emotional pain the birth mother would go through if she were to have an abortion.

The Adoption Process when Birth Fathers are Unknown or Unsupportive During an Unplanned Pregnancy

You’re placing your baby for adoption because you know it’s what’s best for you and your child. It’s a very scary and difficult decision to make, especially when you’re feeling completely alone. Even if you don’t have the birth father’s support, even if you don’t know where the birth father is, you’ll always have Adoption Choices of Oklahoma’s support.

If you have any more questions or concerns about adoption in Oklahoma, don’t hesitate to contact us. We’re here for you.

Adoption Choices of Oklahoma is a private adoption agency, licensed by the state of Oklahoma and leader in the adoption community. We have been assisting birth parents, children, and adoptive families in Oklahoma for over 19 years. Our staff members are committed to providing an ethical, empowering, and personalized adoption experience to all involved in the adoption process.  If you are currently in the process of adopting a baby and have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact us.
Toll-free: 800-898-6028 | OKC Local: 405-755-1999 | Tulsa Local: 918-447-7777 | Text: 405-310-8790Email

Meet the Author: Heather Valenzano is an up-and-coming content creator with a bachelor’s degree in mass communications and a minor in English. After graduating from Iona College in 2019, she got an internship – and then a part-time job – writing blogs and managing social media accounts for Hip New Jersey, a lifestyle website owned by Long Shot Productions. She has also produced website and social media content for CommonPage, an external collaboration platform.

When she isn’t working, Heather enjoys watching crime shows like Forensic Files or posting book reviews to under the username “LavenderLiterature2.”

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