Life After Your Pregnancy and Adoption
By Eric Somarriba
For a birth mother, the effects of adoption continue long after the adoptive family adopts her baby. It’s a big misconception that birth mothers usually move on and never look back, which is rarely the case. Life has to go on, but birth mothers can grapple with their decisions for months or even years after. But there’s also the immediate aftermath, such as how a birth mother deals with going back to school or work. There can be questions about what happened and why she made her choice, whether innocent, judgmental or otherwise. While every circumstance is different for every birth mother, we hope to help with situations like this with this article. At Adoption Choices of Oklahoma, we help women who are pregnant and considering adoption through every step of the process. We’ve dedicated ourselves to 19 years of guiding women and helping them move on and thrive. Even when we finish your Oklahoma adoption, there’s still a transition period to go through. When you first begin your life after your decision, we’ll be there for you.
Going Back to Work or School After Putting Your Child Up For Adoption
Your immediate life after your adoption depends on countless variables. It all may depend on your family, kind of work or school, community, area, and your own feelings. Regardless, it’s rarely easy to begin to settle back to what was once your normal life, no matter your circumstances. For one, know that you’re strong in being able to even take one step in going back into your routine. No matter how long it’s been, it takes a lot to just try and face the world again.
At your work or school, there will be questions, and people may talk. Whether your pregnancy was common knowledge or people are just finding out, they may have a lot to say. There are many different beliefs about adoption, and it will color how they react to your choice. Some might support your decision and agree it was for the best, or others may think you failed your child. No matter what others say, try to explain your reasoning and show them why it was for the best. It may not convince everyone but hearing your reasons from your mouth can go a long way. At work, and especially in school, if you’re a teenager, people can be cruel. There will be people you can never convince, and that’s on them and not on you.
Most of all, as you adjust back into your work or school routines, allow yourself to feel happy and normal. It may take time, but you don’t have to deny yourself the activities or people that make you happy. While your adoption may linger in your mind, you can allow yourself the luxury of being distracted from it. This transition can be hard, but you have the power to make it through.
Adoption Support: When Friends And Family See There’s No Baby
Babies and pregnancies are usually seen as an exciting experience to go through, sometimes even still for mothers considering adoption. Maybe you had at one point wanted to keep your baby and told your friends and family. But if you ended up choosing adoption in the end, your loved ones may wonder why you changed your mind. It may disappoint some of your loved ones not to meet your baby. Often in a situation like this, they may think you’re selfish, so explain to them that adoption is love.
Every mother has their own reasons for giving up their baby, and they’re selfless far more times than selfish. The more typical reasons are a lack of support or simply not being ready to be a parent yet. It can sound selfish from an outside view, but if these are your circumstances, you made a good choice. You couldn’t have given your child the life they deserve, so with us, you gave them a better future. These are only a few examples, but the point stands, show them you acted with a mother’s love.
If you ended up choosing an open or semi-open adoption with our adoption agencies in Oklahoma, that could help too. Those give you the chance to meet and know your child, and that can extend to your loved ones. If they wanted a chance to love your baby too, it’s not impossible to do so.
Where to Go For Adoption Help
While we believe that you’ll be strong enough to go back to your normal life, don’t hesitate to seek help. There’s some work you need to do on your own by accepting your decision, but outside help goes a long way. There are plenty of support groups to find online made up of women in similar positions to you. They’re easy to find through searching online, but we can help you too.
Throughout your time with our agencies, you’ll have access to counseling where you can express your troubles and get guidance. But in this case, post-adoption, this opportunity can last long after we finish your adoption. We don’t simply drop you when we finish your case. We know how hard it can be in the aftermath. So, we’re for when you need it and truly hope you’ll let us help you in this transition.
Adoption With Adoption Choices of Oklahoma
The adoption may continue to affect your life for a long time, but you can move on. Going back to school or work can be hard with what people think of you now. But try to believe that your decision was sound and convince others of that too. Of course, not everyone will see it that way, but there may be plenty who will support you as well. Meanwhile, we are here to help you through this time and to be your support system.
To let us help you through your pregnancy and adoption, contact an adoption agency near you. Adoption Choices of Oklahoma is a private adoption agency licensed by the state of Oklahoma and a leader in the adoption community. We have been assisting birth parents, children, and adoptive families in Oklahoma for over 19 years. Our staff members are committed to providing an ethical, empowering, and personalized adoption experience to all involved in the adoption process. If you are currently in the process of adopting a baby and have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact us.
Toll-free: 800-898-6028 | OKC Local: 405-755-1999 | Tulsa Local: 918-447-7777 | Text: 405-201-6643 | Email