Our Adoption Story: Paul, Dave, and Amelia
Paul and Dave always knew they wanted a family. When they began their journey to becoming parents, they explored the many different ways they could start a family — including surrogacy and adoption. They eventually decided that adoption would be the best fit for them. Adoption allowed them to fulfill their desire to become parents, while simultaneously allowing them to build a connection with a birth mother and provide a home for a child that already existed versus having a biological child. They eventually matched with a birth mother, and the adoption of their daughter, Amelia, was finalized in January 2020. Now, Paul and Dave are hoping to grow their family once again and have recently applied to adopt for the second time.
While the start of their adoption journey was a little intimidating, given their uneasiness about home studies and other elements of the adoption process, their experience ended up being very positive. They had wonderful adoption caseworkers throughout the entire home study and adoption process, and were really able to determine who they wanted to be as parents.
Paul and Dave were originally unsure about the idea of an open adoption, but now have a fantastic relationship with Amelia’s birth mother and speak to her weekly – saying she’s like part of their family.
They want Amelia to “[a]lways have a way to understand herself and her identity…and never question her story [because] having that connection to her birth mother her better to know who she is and what her heritage is.”
When it comes to Amelia’s adoption story, things didn’t go as they had initially planned — but they are incredibly grateful. Instead of having a concrete plan in place when Amelia was born, they found themselves receiving a phone call that ended up with them holding Amelia in their arms two hours later. While they did not have a birth plan in place at the time, their situation worked because they had genuine respect for Amelia’s birth mother, and she had respect for them.
While the situation around Amelia’s birth may appear chaotic, it actually resulted in one of their favorite memories from their adoption journey – the four of them – Paul, Dave, Amelia and Amelia’s birth mom sleeping in the same hospital room the night Amelia was born. Being this close allowed them all to bond and become closer than they would have if the situation were different.
Paul and Dave also want to encourage birth mothers who are considering adoption.
Paul said, “you are able to get your child in a secure and loving home where they will be nurtured, grow, and hopefully succeed. You are placing someone that you care about in the arms of other people that care as much as you…”
Additionally, Dave advocated for open adoption, saying, “An open adoption allows you [as a birth parent] to grow your family as well. If you decide that you are not in a situation where you are able to provide what you would like for the child, and you place the child for adoption, of course, there is a big piece of loss with that, but you are also growing your family.”
Dave continued, “We are now part of Amelia’s birth mother’s family. With Amelia’s birth, her [birth mother’s] family grew by three, as opposed to one.”
Adoption Story Note to Birth Mothers
Paul, Dave and Amelia’s story is only one example of what your child’s adoption story might look like. We hope that this story encourages you and provides a sense of peace as you review prospective adoptive parents for your baby. If you have any questions or are ready to start your own adoption journey, please don’t hesitate to contact any of our Adoption Choices of Oklahoma staff members.
Adoption Choices of Oklahoma is a private adoption agency, licensed by the state of Oklahoma and leader in the adoption community. We have been assisting birth parents, children, and adoptive families in Oklahoma for over 19 years. Our staff members are committed to providing an ethical, empowering, and personalized adoption experience to all involved in the adoption process. If you are currently in the process of adopting a baby and have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact us.
Toll-free: 800-898-6028 | OKC Local: 405-755-1999 | Tulsa Local: 918-447-7777 | Text: 405-310-8790 | Email
Meet the Author: Grace Myers is a sophomore digital media major at North Greenville University. She loves writing and hopes to pursue a career in journalism or public relations after graduating.
An adoptee herself, Grace is passionate about writing for adoption. She especially loves hearing adoption stories and getting to know a variety of people.