Our Adoption Story: Will and Rafa
Growing up, Will and Rafa did not see having a family as part of their future. However, when they met, things slowly began to change – family became a priority. When Will and Rafa first started exploring ways to create their family, they considered both surrogacy and adoption. However, surrogacy felt a little too complicated, and biology was not that important to them. Therefore, they settled on adoption.
Their daughter’s adoption was finalized in the Spring of 2020.
Will and Rafa’s Adoption Story
When they first began their adoption journey, Will and Rafa admit that they went into the process not really having any preferences about what their child would have in common with them. However, as their adoption journey progressed, they found it important that their child shared at least one ethnicity with them, whether that be Rafa’s Latino heritage or Will’s Caucasian heritage. They felt as if that shared heritage would allow them to better connect with their child. They also wanted to ensure that they could appropriately teach their child about their background and culture.
Now, Will and Rafa enjoy spending time with their daughter, noting that they love the relationship they share with her and watching her bond with other members of their families.
The most challenging part of their adoption journey for Will and Rafa was finding the situation that was the best fit for their family. Waiting to be picked by a birth mother felt kind of like “a really bad version of dating at times,” as they began building a profile and “selling” themselves to birth mothers. When they initially matched with their daughter’s birth mother, there were some issues in communication. It was originally thought that the birth mother had eliminated them; however, they were actually her first choice for her baby’s adoptive family.
At first, Will and Rafa were worried about meeting the biological mother of their child, having been warned that many birth mothers may not be in the best situations. However, despite all the twists and turns in the beginning, meeting their daughter’s birth mom was the highlight of their adoption journey (aside from their daughter’s birth, of course), describing her as a “really great person.”
Rafa noted that finding the right balance of communication for their family has been a very “delicate” process – there is no exact recipe. Their daughter’s birth mother also has a son, their daughter’s full biological brother. Will and Rafa recognize how important it is for their daughter to have a relationship with her brother, but still want to do what is best for their family.
Now, their daughter’s birth mother has a semi-open relationship with the family. While they originally started small with the communication, they can slowly open up the relationship if it fits their situation. So far, they have met with their daughter’s birth mother a few times, also communicating with her via messages and Facetime, being sure to keep her updated with photos.
While their daughter really isn’t quite old enough to understand her adoption story at the moment, Will and Rafa say they definitely plan to open up their relationship with her birth mother and ensure that their daughter understands the importance of her adoption story in the future.
As people who have been on the opposite side of the adoption triad, Will and Rafa encourage birth mothers saying, “There is an abundance of love for your child out there…we will love your child and give them a better life. ”
Adoption Story Note for Birth Mothers
Everyone’s adoption journey is different. However, we guarantee that somewhere out there, there is a loving family, just like Will and Rafa, who are ready to welcome your baby with open arms. We hope that this story encourages you and provides a sense of peace as you review prospective adoptive parents for your baby.
If you have any questions or are ready to start your own adoption journey, please don’t hesitate to contact any of our Adoption Choices of Oklahoma staff members.
Adoption Choices of Oklahoma is a private adoption agency, licensed by the state of Oklahoma and leader in the adoption community. We have been assisting birth parents, children, and adoptive families in Oklahoma for over 19 years. Our staff members are committed to providing an ethical, empowering, and personalized adoption experience to all involved in the adoption process. If you are currently in the process of adopting a baby and have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact us.
Toll-free: 800-898-6028 | OKC Local: 405-755-1999 | Tulsa Local: 918-447-7777 | Text: 405-310-8790 | Email
Meet the Author: Grace Myers is a sophomore digital media major at North Greenville University. She loves writing and hopes to pursue a career in journalism or public relations after graduating.
An adoptee herself, Grace is passionate about writing for adoption. She especially loves hearing adoption stories and getting to know a variety of people.
