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Placing a baby for adoption

You’re sitting in your bathroom, rocking yourself back and forth. You glance again at the pregnancy test. Maybe you saw it wrong the first time. Two pink lines still fall across the tiny digital screen. Swallowing hard, you continue to rock as you try to process the full significance of what this means. This is a fate you weren’t prepared for.

Unexpected, unwanted or unplanned pregnancies can turn your world upside down in a matter of seconds. But you are not alone. You have options. Adoption Choices of Oklahoma is here to assist, and will gladly help you make a plan of adoption.

Types of Adoption

When you’re considering adoption for your baby, it’s important for you to know what type of adoption you want. This will determine the level of openness and kind of relationship you will have with the adoptive family once the adoption process has begun. While Adoption Choices of Oklahoma promotes and encourages open adoption, there are two other options available for you to research and think about as well.

  • Closed Adoption: Another name for this form of adoption is “confidential adoption.” It is where there is no contact between the adoptive parents or birth parents at any point during the process. No pictures are exchanged, no mediated conversations, and no contact after finalization. The agency, attorneys and caseworkers handle everything to maintain privacy between the parties. Adoptees aren’t able to learn anything about their birth parents until they become legal adults. Understandably, closed adoptions are the least favorite type, but there are still families who prefer it.
  • Semi – Open Adoption: Also called “mediated adoptions,” this type is a step down from open adoptions. Most to all the communication that happens between the adoptive parents and birth parents is coordinated through the adoption caseworker. Identifying information is protected this way, but provides you with a way to receive updates about how your child is doing. Potential modes of contact could include: pictures and emails sent through the agency, conference calls through the agency prior to adoption, or visits before the adoption where the social worker is present.

Adoption Choices of Oklahoma encourages open adoption because we believe it is the most beneficial for everyone involved, especially the child. But, we understand that every birth parent has their own desires and requirements. It’s not a decision that can be taken lightly. Be sure to research each option thoroughly, and study our resource on the pros and cons of open adoption to help. We will respect whatever choice you make.

Counseling

If you’re struggling to determine which type of adoption would work best for you, that’s ok. Placing a baby for adoption is extremely emotional, and it’s impossible to know how you will feel years after finalization. To help guide you through each choice, Adoption Choices of Oklahoma has adoption services available. Our Birth Parent Counselors are highly trained and specialized, and will offer support in any way they can. From choosing the type of adoption to creating your adoption plan.

You’ll never be alone. What’s more, you never need to fear feeling pressured or judged. We treat each and every birth parent with the utmost respect throughout pregnancy, birth and placement.

Birth Mother Criteria

After deciding what type of adoption fits you best, it’s time to think about what kind of adoptive family you’re looking for. Who will ultimately get the gift of your son or daughter, and the responsibility of raising them. Even though you are placing your baby for adoption, you may want a family who shares some of your values. Just so your child can have a piece of you wherever they are.

Potential similarities could be within an adoptive parents’:

  • Hobbies
  • Religious preferences
  • Personality
  • Family Values

Other areas could include whether or not they have pets or additional children. The list is endless. When you choose us as your agency, write down everything you are looking for and we will do our best to accommodate as many details as we can. Keep in mind, too, some of the aspects you may be willing to be more lax on as no family is going to meet every single checkbox.

Placing Your Baby for Adoption

There are many aspects to consider and think about when you’re placing your baby for adoption. But, again, you are not alone. We are here to help you. There is no need to rush. Take your time. Research your options. Make sure you fully understand what your decision entails, and how it will impact your life moving forward.

When it comes to your adoption journey with us, you have full control. You get to decide what kind of adoption you want, and what it will look like. We will never leave you in the dark or drop you mid-process. Adoption Choices of Oklahoma is dedicated to finding the best match possible, and is dedicated to helping you every step of the way.

Adoption Choices of Oklahoma

If you are currently in the process of adopting a baby and have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact, Adoption Choices of Oklahoma. You may visit our website here or call 405-794-7500 (Oklahoma City) or 918-982-6220 (Tulsa).

Support Adoption Choices

CrowdriseAdoption Choices, Inc. is partnering with Crowdrise, a fundraising website for nonprofits, to help our adoptive parents and birth parents with much needed financial assistance. We understand that expenses keep clients from fulfilling their dreams. Both with birth parents making a plan for adoption, and with adoptive parents growing their family. It is our mission to provide financial assistance through grants and scholarships, awarded annually in November, in honor of National Adoption Month. Funds assist adoptive parents with matching and placements, adoption finalization and helping birth mothers improve their lives through higher education — and much more.

However, we can’t do it alone. Please read up on our programs and donate money where you are able. Your donation will make a huge impact.

About the Author

Rachel RobertsonRachel Robertson is a published journalist, book editor, certified Publishing Specialist, and aspiring novelist. She graduated from Central Washington University (CWU) in March 2011, having found her writing voice within the Creative Nonfiction genre and grew to work as a freelance book editor for small presses all across the United States.

In June 2018, she embarked on an internship with Virginia Frank and came on board with Adoption Choices Inc., Not for Profit 501(c)(3), in December 2018. Between her mutual passion with adoption and surrogacy, and her own personal history with adoption, Rachel is excited to research and share topics each week that will spread awareness and better serve the faithful patrons of Adoption Choices Inc.

When Rachel isn’t haunting her local Starbucks or Barnes and Noble, she’s avidly pouring over her Writer’s Digest subscription or cozying up with a cup of tea and a book. She currently resides in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with her beloved wife and Border Collie.

 

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Sources:

“Closed Adoption – Going Your Separate Ways.” Considering Adoption, consideringadoption.com/adopting/open-adoption/closed-adoption-a-fragmented-relationship.

“Semi-Open/Mediated Adoption – The Best of Both Worlds.” Considering Adoption, consideringadoption.com/adopting/open-adoption/mediated-adoption-the-best-of-both-worlds.

“What Birthmothers Look for in Adoptive Parent Profiles.” Angel Adoption, Angel Adoption, Inc., 6 June 2016, www.angeladoptioninc.com/blog/what-birthmothers-look-for-in-adoptive-parent-profiles/.

“What to Look for in an Adoptive Family.” Birthmothers Choice, 1 Sept. 2016, www.birthmotherschoice.com/look-adoptive-family/.

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