Private Adoption: Choosing Your Child’s Adoptive Family

If you choose to place your baby up for private adoption, you can choose your child’s adoptive family. Keep in mind what type of people you wish to adopt and raise your child. There are many options and considerations that go into who you choose to raise your baby. The good thing is you have your caseworker’s support, as well as the Adoption Choices of Oklahoma community.

Adoption Agreement

While deciding on your child’s family, think about what type of adoption agreement you wish to have. The families you may be considering may prefer adoption agreement typewritten in their profile for you to view during your deliberations. If you wish to have future visitation arrangements with your baby, you and your child’s adoptive parents should agree to an open or semi-open adoption agreement. If you wish to have no future contact with your child, and your child’s parents wish to have no contact with you, you may wish to agree to a closed adoption.

Adoptive Family Religion

As for choosing who will raise your child, what sort of morals and beliefs would you like your child’s parents to have? These beliefs will be passed on to your child through their teachings. Would you like your baby to be raised in a religious household? What religion would you prefer your child to be raised in? If you are Christian, you may prefer your baby to be raised Christian also. The same could be said if you are Muslim, Jewish, Jehova’s Witness, Mormon, or any other type of religion.

Adoptive Family Marital Status

While choosing your child’s adoptive family, the couple’s marital status may or may not matter to you. Some people want their children to be raised in a household where the parents are married, while others do not mind if the couple is not married. Some may not care if their child is raised by a couple at all. Single parents are great choices as well. As someone who is a single parent raised, I can tell you how I grew up having a close relationship with my mom, and, not to toot my own horn, but I think I turned out pretty great, or at least not that bad.

Interracial Adoptions

You may want someone who is of a similar race and ethnicity yourself to raise your child. Or, this may not matter to you, but it is something you may wish to consider. Does it matter to you if the adoptive family is interracial or not? This may come up as something to think about through the process of choosing your child’s family. No matter who you choose, your child will be loved and cared for; it is all according to your personal preference.

How Many Children Does Your Adoptive Family Have?

Does it matter to you if your child’s adoptive family already has children? Some people believe children who grow up with siblings gain special social skills they would not gain as only children. Although, many only children turn out just fine and function without issue in society. The choice lies with you because your child will be fine whether or not they are raised with siblings. Keep this in mind while deciding.

Where Will, Your Adoptive Family, Raise Your Baby?

Do you have a preference where your child is raised? You may wish for your child to be raised in a country where they can run and play, or you may wish for them to be raised in a city like Tulsa, where there is always something to do. Does it matter to you whether your child lives in a house or an apartment? Either way, they will be taken care of, but it may matter to you. Some people have great personal memories of their childhood home, and so this may matter to you.

What Type of Education Will Your Child’s Adoptive Family Give Them?

Depending on where your child lives may impact where they go to school also. Maybe you should ask the prospective families about their plans for your child’s education. Would they send him or her to a private or public school; would it be a bilingual school; would they place pressure to succeed on the child; will the baby be homeschooled or taught prior to school about things such as the alphabet? You may not think to ask such questions that will not apply for so many years, but you may have a preference and wish to ask or be involved somewhat.

Other Questions For Prospective Families

You may have some questions on topics that are important to you but unimportant to or not thought about by others—for example, asking about whether your child will be vaccinated and taken to regular check-ups, or if your child’s parents are planning on a special vegan or organic diet for the family or not, or even if there may be a pet in the house. Some kids have great memories with pets if they can be raised with one, which may mean something to you. Or, it may mean nothing, and you know this is something you don’t care about or don’t feel like asking about.

Choosing Your Child’s Adoptive Family with Adoption Choices of Oklahoma

You may have started reading this article feeling lost or thinking there was nothing big to picking your baby’s family. Hopefully, this article gave you some things to think about while interviewing families and deciding on who will care for and love your baby. Don’t worry; you’ve got this! Adoption Choices of Oklahoma is ready to help you sift through the profiles and find the perfect one for you. We are just a call away, so pick up your phone and look us up today.

Adoption Choices of Oklahoma is a private adoption agency, licensed by the state of Oklahoma and a leader in the adoption community. We have been assisting birth parents, children, and adoptive families in Oklahoma for over 19 years. Our staff members are committed to providing an ethical, empowering, and personalized adoption experience to all involved in the adoption process.  If you are currently in the process of adopting a baby and have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact us.
Toll-free: 800-898-6028 | OKC Local: 405-755-1999 | Tulsa Local: 918-447-7777 | Text: 405-310-8790 | Email

Meet the author: Carly is a recent graduate of Connecticut College with a dual degree in Psychology and Italian Studies. Graduating Cum Laude with honors in both Psychology and Italian departments, Carly has a background in gender-related research through the Connecticut College Psychology Department and Honors Theses Program. When not trying to figure out life or working, Carly is reading historical fiction novels or playing with her black cat, Isabelle.