Questions Every Surrogate Should Ask the Intended Parents

You’ve been interested in becoming a surrogate mother for quite a while. You’ve done your research, and you’ve submitted your application. After undergoing both a physical and mental evaluation, you’ve finally been matched. Now you’re preparing to meet the people you’ll be working with for the next nine months.

If you’re a surrogate preparing to meet the intended parents you’ve been assigned to, you probably want some advice on how to approach them. Here are some questions every surrogate should ask the intended parents during their first meeting.

1) Why are You Pursuing Gestational Surrogacy?

As a potential surrogate, it’s important that you connect with the intended parents and understand them. Start by asking them why they decided to pursue gestational surrogacy.

• Why do you want to be parents?
• Why were you drawn to gestational surrogacy specifically?

• What type of parents do you hope to be for your children?

You can also ask them about their family and friends.

• How do they feel about the surrogacy process?
• Do they support you?

2) What do You Expect from this Surrogacy?

You might be going into the surrogacy process with a specific plan or idea in mind, but they may have a completely different plan or idea in mind. Before the surrogacy process begins, you should both discuss what you want or expect from it and the surrogacy journey overall.

Some intended parents want to be heavily involved in the surrogacy process. They may want their surrogate to follow a specific routine. Sometimes they ask the surrogate to follow a strict diet and adhere to a specific exercise routine. You need to decide if you are comfortable with their requests.

You should ask them if they want to attend the doctor’s appointments with you. You should also ask them if they will be present when the child is (children are) born.

3) What are Your Plans for After the Surrogacy?

We often encourage surrogates to maintain a healthy relationship with the intended parents throughout the surrogacy journey. Depending on your desires, and the intended parents’ desires, you may stay in touch throughout said journey. You should learn if the intended parents plan to maintain a relationship with you following the child’s (children’s) birth. You could ask them if they are interested in going through the surrogacy process more than once to increase the size of their family. Maybe they’ll consider hiring you a second time.

Questions Every Surrogate Should Ask the Intended Parents

Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Oklahoma can connect you to the intended parents, but at the end of the day, you’re the one who needs to decide if you want to work with the people we recommend. We want to make sure you are comfortable with the intended parents, and we want to make sure the intended parents are comfortable with you. That’s why your first meeting is so important.

Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Oklahoma is a surrogacy and adoption agency, licensed by the state of Oklahoma and leader in the community. We assist both intended parents and gestational carriers (surrogates). Our staff members are committed to providing an ethical, empowering, and personalized experience to all involved in the surrogacy process.

You may visit our website here or call toll-free: 800-898-6028 | OKC Local: 405-755-1999 | Tulsa Local: 918-447-7777
or Text: 405-310-8790

Meet the Author: Heather Valenzano is an up-and-coming content creator with a bachelor’s degree in mass communications and a minor in English. After graduating from Iona College in 2019, she got an internship – and then a part-time job – writing blogs and managing social media accounts for Hip New Jersey, a lifestyle website owned by Long Shot Productions. She has also produced website and social media content for CommonPage, an external collaboration platform.

When she isn’t working, Heather enjoys watching crime shows like Forensic Files or posting book reviews to OnlineBookClub.org under the username “LavenderLiterature2.”