Reasons Birth Fathers Choose Adoption
Some of the biggest misconceptions about adoption revolve around the birth father. People believe that birth fathers do not love their child or where he or she ends up. However, that is far from the truth. While every birth father is unique, they are still important. Without both the birth father and the birth mother, the child in question would not exist.
Depending on the state you are from, birth fathers do have rights when it comes to their child. Yet, we know that every case is different. Here at Adoption Choices of Oklahoma, we want to help you through whatever your circumstances might be. There are many reasons birth fathers choose adoption, and most (if not all) are the same reasons you, the birth mother, would as well. Just remember – choosing adoption does not mean you do not love your child! Rather, it shows how selfless and strong you are.
Reasons Birth Fathers Choose Adoption
- He cannot offer a stable home environment
In some instances, the birth father or the birth mother cannot provide the proper environment that they want for their child. These problems could be anything from financial strain to relationship issues. Acknowledging they cannot provide a healthy, safe or happy environment for their child is one reason why birth fathers might put their child up for adoption.
- He wants his child to have better opportunities
The important thing to any father is the ability to provide for their child. Sometimes, a birth father knows that he isn’t able to give his child everything they need to succeed. Thus, placing the child for adoption is a way to ensure that he or she is able to reach their fullest potential.
- He is facing personal challenges that will impact his ability to be a parent
Everyone has this idea of what it means to be a parent. While there is no cookie-cutter definition to being a father, some birth fathers know that they would not be able to provide the proper care to their child. There might be some personal challenges that a father faces that can affect his ability to become a good parent. Adoption can help ensure that the child is still taken care of and has a happy, healthy life.
- He is no longer in a relationship with the birth mother
Choosing to take care of a child means not only committing to becoming a parent, but also (in some cases) committing to a relationship with the birth mother. Unfortunately, many times, things do not work out between the birth parents and they can’t continue their relationship. While raising a child as a single parent is possible, it could also be overwhelming. Worrying about being able to provide for their child as a single parent might be one of the reasons why a birth father would choose adoption.
- He is not ready to become a father
One of the more apparent reasons birth fathers choose adoption is that he is not ready to be a father. Whether it’s because he’s still in school, working on his career or loving his current lifestyle, birth fathers may find they’re not ready to raise a child. That is totally okay! This does not make him any less of a father. Being able to acknowledge that you are not the right person to raise your child takes a lot of strength and courage, and adoption can help you find a family that is ready to take care of your child.
- He can still be a part of his child’s life
With the help of open adoptions, birth parents have the ability to stay connected to their children through the adoptive family. Whether that means a weekly phone call or annual picture updates, the best part of adoption is that you and the adoptive family can decide how much contact you have with your child. This means that if you want to still be a part of your child’s life, you definitely can be! You can see them grow and blossom into a successful adult, and still be by their side.
- He loves his child unconditionally
One of the most selfless and loving things a birth father can do for their child is put them up for adoption. Placing your baby for adoption is a very challenging and emotional process that takes a lot of strength to go through. However, in putting your child’s needs before your own, you are showing how much you truly love and care for your son or daughter.
Birth Fathers Deserve Support Too!
Here at Adoption Choices of Oklahoma, we want birth fathers to know that they deserve support too! While there are many reasons a birth father might choose adoption, you do not have to go through the process alone. If any of these reasons speak to you, please do not hesitate to contact us for support!
Sources
Mason, Mary. “Birth fathers- In the shadows of adoption” Adoptive Families Association of BC, https://www.bcadoption.com/resources/articles/birth-fathers-shadows-adoption
