Starting a Holiday Tradition in an Open Adoption as a Birth Mother
The holidays are a time for sharing love with the people you care about. As individuals with unique backgrounds, cultures and circumstances, we express this in different but equally valid ways. This makes the holiday season the perfect time to consider starting a holiday tradition with your birth child. Perhaps you don’t know where to begin. No worries!
This is new territory for both you and your birth child. Not having all the answers immediately can be a good thing. It gives you the opportunity to brainstorm and think deeply about how you want to approach this topic. At Adoption Choices of Oklahoma, we want to help you make this the best holiday with your birth child yet, so we have a short list of things you might consider when thinking about starting a holiday tradition in an open adoption as a birth mother.
What Traditions do You Want to Share with Your Birth Child?
Do you have any holiday traditions you used to celebrate as a child? How about any traditions that you have always wanted to try but perhaps, for whatever reason, never got around to? Well, this is a great opportunity to re-examine these traditions with fresh eyes. Consider making a list — and checking it twice — of holiday traditions that you would potentially like to share with your birth child and adoptive family.
What excites you about these traditions? It is important to pick a holiday tradition that you care about and can see yourself participating in every year. Children are perceptive and your child will be able to tell how much you enjoy engaging in this tradition with them. Joy is contagious and yours will directly impact your child’s enjoyment of the tradition, especially since it is the first time you have done it.
Another thing to consider is how the adoptive family and child will react to this new tradition. Put yourself in their shoes. Will it be as exciting to them as it is to you? When making your list of potential holiday traditions, don’t forget to also think about the child’s interests and likes. You wouldn’t want to put a great deal of effort into a tradition that the family has absolutely no interest in. Finding ways to incorporate something the child likes or is interested in into your holiday tradition would make it all the more special for your child and may even make it easier to introduce it to them.
Consider Creating a Holiday Tradition Together with Your Child
A holiday tradition can be a great bonding experience for you, your birth child, and the adoptive family. This tradition could mean even more to the both of you if it is something you come up with together. Consider ways to encourage the child’s involvement and input. Why not ask them to help you think up fun activities to do during the holidays?
This is a wonderful opportunity to create something special with your adoptive family. Offering ideas and voicing their opinions will help everyone feel more invested in this new holiday tradition. They may look forward to it every year as something they helped create with you and get to celebrate with you. Starting a holiday tradition in an open adoption can give you and the family some additional relationship-building time together and as a result, may lead to you both finding even more things to love about each other.
Communicate Openly with Your Child’s Adoptive Family
In an open adoption, your child’s adoptive family can be a wonderful source of support in starting a holiday tradition with your birth child. You’ve entrusted this family to love and care for your child, so you should see them as your allies, not as competition for your child’s affection. Trust and open communication between both parties will help make your child feel equally loved during the holiday season.
Consider asking your adoptive family about their holiday traditions. You may find that there is room for some creative collaboration and come up with a beautiful, blended holiday tradition together. Or perhaps there is a certain day you have in mind for your holiday tradition. Having an open discussion with your adoptive parents can help avoid any scheduling conflicts and provide everyone with a better understanding of what to expect during the holidays.
You and your adoptive family both love your child very much and keeping an open line of communication between you makes it more likely that everyone involved will have a joyous and memorable holiday season.
Holiday Traditions are About Love and Togetherness
Starting a holiday tradition in an open adoption as a birth mother can help you feel as if you are adding something that is uniquely you into your child’s life. The holidays are a time to make special memories together and this could be your chance to start something new and exciting with your child. The most important thing to remember is that it’s not what the holiday tradition is that necessarily matters. It’s how it makes you and your child feel — the love and togetherness you share — that matters most of all.
Adoption Choices of Oklahoma is a private adoption agency, licensed by the state of Oklahoma and leader in the adoption community. We have been assisting birth parents, children, and adoptive families in Oklahoma for over 19 years. Our staff members are committed to providing an ethical, empowering, and personalized adoption experience to all involved in the adoption process. If you are currently in the process of adopting a baby and have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact us.
Toll-free: 800-898-6028 | OKC Local: 405-755-1999 | Tulsa Local: 918-447-7777 | Text: 405-310-8790 | Email
Meet the Author: Kristle Hailes is just your average, Alaska-born writer with a black belt in Tae Kwon Do and a dragon’s hoard of books and tea. In addition to educating young minds for over 12 years as a teacher, Kristle is also a professional daydreamer, world-builder, author-in-progress, and wordsmith. Writing is the air in her lungs, and she has been breathing life into paper ever since she learned her ABCs and realized you could play with words.
Kristle currently lives in South Carolina where she can usually be found face-deep in a book and a cup of tea or digging herself out of plot holes while working on the first novel of her adult contemporary fantasy series.