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Talking About Your Surrogacy Process With Others

Surrogacy is a long and arduous journey from both sides. The Surrogate mother and intended parents go through a lot throughout the surrogacy journey. Although surrogates will have their partner support person, and the intended parents have each other, having support from friends, extended family, and others around you make surrogacy much easier. 

Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Oklahoma is here for you if you’re considering OK surrogacy or looking for a surrogate. We’re here to provide expert and compassionate support throughout the surrogacy process. Surrogacy is a complex and often confusing process, so we bring the pro’s in to make it as smooth and easy as possible for you. 

Telling Friends About Becoming a Surrogate 

You may be struggling with the question of if you should tell your friends about surrogacy. Should I tell my friends about being a surrogate? Why should I tell them? How will they react? 

They say you learn who you’re real friends are when you need your friends the most. The people you hang out with, go to trivia and eat dinners with can be a big asset during your surrogacy journey. You’ll want a significant support system as a surrogate mother and look no further than those who already support you. Friends can take turns watching your kids when you go to doctor appointments, travel for IVF treatments, and while you’re in the hospital. Good friends will also come in clutch with some pre-made dinners or ice cream pints when those pregnancy hormones hit hard. 

Should We Tell People That We’re Working With a Surrogate?

Ultimately, only you know what’s best, knowing the circle of people around you and how they may react to using a surrogate. Deciding whether or not to tell your friends and family about surrogacy is a very personal and often difficult decision to make. In general, most families are open about their surrogacy journey since having additional support throughout the process can be helpful. However, you may decide to keep it private or only tell certain people in your life. Use your best judgment and talk it over carefully. Finding out about surrogacy later might be a bigger shock than if you had talked about it early on. Using a surrogate is not something to be ashamed of and is one of the best ways to create a family while maintaining biological connections if you can’t bear children. People may be more open than you think. 

How do I talk to My Friends and Family About Surrogacy?

If you’ve decided to tell your friends and family, the next big hurdle is determining the best way to do so. Every situation is different, so consider the best option for you. You may have already told a few people but want to share the news with everyone. Here are some ways to talk to others about your surrogacy.

  • Big announcements are always more fun in party form. If you think it would work, consider having a gathering, dinner, etc., with those you want to share the news with. You don’t need to break out the party poppers and streamers; just be open and honest and ready to answer a lot of questions. 
  • If you don’t have a big group to tell all at once, telling people in a one-on-one setting. In-person, over the phone, or however you prefer to share the news. 
  • Crafting a social media post is a great way to tell a lot of people at once on one shareable platform. Explain why you’ve chosen surrogacy, where you are in the process, and answer some questions you may get. 

As with sharing any big news, be ready to answer questions. Not many people may understand how surrogacy works, so be patient. Whether you are becoming a surrogate or using a surrogate, you should know how the process works on both sides. Having a full understanding of the process will help explain surrogacy and the choices you made to friends and family. 

Reactions to Expect from Your Loved Ones When Telling Them about Your Decision to Become a Surrogate Mother

As we said, be prepared for questions about how surrogacy works, your relation to the baby, compensation, the intended family, etc. Encourage friends and family to ask questions if they have any. 

Although uncommon, be prepared for possible negative reactions. Not everyone will jump for joy at the news, depending on the person. Negative reactions may actually be a result of the person not understanding surrogacy or having false information about it. Many people may have misinformation and misconceptions about surrogacy, and sharing your experience and knowledge is a great way to represent the surrogacy community. Remember why you chose surrogacy, and don’t let the reactions of others affect the experience for you. 

Should I Tell People About My Surrogacy? 

Friends and family can be a great support system during surrogacy, whether you’re a surrogate or intended parent. Sharing news of the pregnancy can be exciting and a great reason to share your surrogacy experience with others. Remember, it’s okay to keep some or all things private. You don’t have any obligation to talk about surrogacy with those around you. You can tell a few close friends and family or spread the word to all 500 of your Facebook friends. At the end of the day, it’s up to you what you feel comfortable sharing. 

Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Oklahoma is a surrogacy and adoption agency, licensed by the state of Oklahoma and leader in the community. We assist both intended parents and gestational carriers (surrogates). Our staff members are committed to providing an ethical, empowering, and personalized experience to all involved in the surrogacy process.
Toll-free: 800-898-6028 | OKC Local: 405-755-1999 | Tulsa Local: 918-447-7777 | Text: 405-310-8790Email

Meet the AuthorMichelle Brugioni is a practiced, well-versed college-educated writer and avid coffee drinker. She has ten years of experience as a freelance writer and has written for an alarmingly wide range of clients and publications. She has written on topics like: life science, biopharmaceutical company acquisitions, dealing with anxiety, and creative drinking games. 

As a fearless writer and masterful researcher, each time Michelle is approached with the question, “Can you write this?” she responds confidently with, “When do you need it?”

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