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The Psychology of Surrogacy

The Oklahoma surrogacy process involves a lot of things that can cause mental highs and lows. Deciding to become a surrogate, anxiety about qualifying, finding a family, and the IVF process can all take a mental toll on you. Surrogacy is a beautiful and selfless decision, but it doesn’t come without some mental tax. If surrogacy causes so much mental and physical stress, why does anyone want to become a surrogate mother? Is surrogacy worth all of the emotional struggle? What should I know about how surrogacy will impact my mental health? 

If you’re considering surrogacy in Oklahoma, reach out to Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Oklahoma. We’re here to provide support to you throughout the entire surrogacy process, as well as postpartum counseling. Surrogacy is hard enough; you shouldn’t have to go through it feeling alone. Some agencies may fall into the background after their job is done, but we’re here for you from beginning to end, advocating for you and answering any questions and concerns you have during the process. Surrogacy is no walk in the park, but it’s most definitely worth it. 

OK surrogacy will have a physical and mental effect on you, and you should be prepared for both. The medical impact is important, but mental health is equally essential. Here are just a few things to consider psychologically when it comes to surrogacy. 

Surrogacy and Mental Health History

If you’re struggling with mental health issues or have a history of mental health issues, surrogacy may not be for you. In order to assure the safety and overall happiness of our surrogates, you must be clear of any previous or current mental illnesses. Pregnancy alone can cause things like depression to get worse, and when you add all of what’s involved in surrogacy on top, it can be a recipe for disaster. Everyone is different, and you never know how hormones and the surrogacy environment might affect any given mental illness. For example, postpartum depression is a serious condition; now consider dealing with it alongside the complex emotions of surrogacy. Mental health is important, and you shouldn’t compromise that. 

Surrogacy and Mental Health Background Checks

In order to assure you’re mentally ready to handle another pregnancy and surrogacy, background checks on your mental health are conducted. If you’re not honest during the application, it will come out in our screening process. It seems picky, and we understand that, but our goal is to make your surrogacy and pregnancy process as enjoyable as possible. Ensuring that you’ll be mentally stable throughout the process protects not only you and the baby but also the intended parents. These checks are in the best interest of everyone. 

Surrogacy and Psychological Screening

All women wanting to become surrogates will go through a psychological screening by a professional. Check out our surrogate website to learn more. You can ask your agency what kind of screening they will do, but most use the Personality Assessment Inventory (PAI). The test assesses your personality and psychopathology and is divided into 22 scales, including anxiety-related disorders, aggression, alcohol and drug problems, and more. The evaluation also requires you to speak with a psychologist, usually from the surrogacy agency. The psychologist will ask things such as why you wanted to become a surrogate, aspects of your surrogacy journey, your support system, etc. The psychologist may also want to talk to your partner or spouse. It’s crucial that your significant other is supportive and on the same page as you when it comes to surrogacy. 

The Mental Impact of Surrogacy and Postpartum 

Pregnancy is rough enough on its own. Surrogacy adds new challenges to the pregnancy process. Firstly, you are not biologically related to the baby you are carrying. Because of how IVF works, you will not share blood with the child. This may or may not affect how you feel during pregnancy, although most surrogates don’t find it to be an issue. Second, you don’t get to take home the baby you’ve been growing for nine months. This is often one of the hardest parts of surrogacy. You’ve known from the beginning what was going to happen, but that doesn’t make it any easier when the baby is whisked away into the arms of their intended parents. This can cause a lot of complex feelings that can be difficult to work through. Similar to adoption, in surrogacy, you are forced to grieve over a person who is still living. Because of these reasons and more, Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Oklahoma offer postpartum counseling to all surrogates. Even if you feel like you don’t need it, talking to someone could be beneficial in the long run. 

It’s no doubt that surrogacy will change you forever. You’ve provided a child to people who previously may have never been able to be parents. You know the feeling of holding your own baby for the first time and realizing this tiny little person is yours for life. Imagine being able to provide that feeling for a couple who deals with infertility or an LGBTQ couple. Surrogacy will definitely change you, but it’s undoubtedly for the better. 

Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Oklahoma is a surrogacy and adoption agency, licensed by the state of Oklahoma and leader in the community. We assist both intended parents and gestational carriers (surrogates). Our staff members are committed to providing an ethical, empowering, and personalized experience to all involved in the surrogacy process.
Toll-free: 800-898-6028 | OKC Local: 405-755-1999 | Tulsa Local: 918-447-7777 | Text: 405-310-8790Email

Meet the AuthorMichelle Brugioni is a practiced, well-versed college-educated writer and avid coffee drinker. She has ten years of experience as a freelance writer and has written for an alarmingly wide range of clients and publications. She has written on topics like: life science, biopharmaceutical company acquisitions, dealing with anxiety, and creative drinking games. 

As a fearless writer and masterful researcher, each time Michelle is approached with the question, “Can you write this?” she responds confidently with, “When do you need it?”


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