The Top 5 Red Flags in Gestational Surrogacy for Surrogates
Something is bugging you, but you can’t really put a finger on it. You are sure that something feels off. Here at this point is where you should let your gut feeling guide you through the intricate process of gestational surrogacy. Red flags could be daunting and it may scare you to admit that they exist, because that means you could be taken away a little from your goal. However, it is safer to have a delayed plan than having regrets later.
Although there is no such thing as a perfect match, as a surrogate you should pay attention to your gut feeling towards the agency and the intended parents you choose before signing any agreements. Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Oklahoma has put together a list of the top five red flags in gestational surrogacy you should take seriously before getting yourself into any form of surrogacy commitment with an agency or intended parents.
1) Financial Questions Dodged
While a gestational carrier isn’t entering gestational surrogacy to make money, it’s normal to ask about what the types of expenses that will be covered in the process. As the one carrying the intended parents’ baby, your expenses may range from medical needs to counseling to maternity clothes — just to name a few.
If intended parents aren’t willing or refuse to identify what expenses will be covered, or talk about finances at all,, this is a good sign to be wary. They may not be the best couple or individual for you to work with.
2) Not Open to Sharing their Experience
It is important to have answers for some preliminary questions when you’re first getting to know potential intended parents. For instance, how they decided that gestational surrogacy was the best route for them. Why do they want to be parents? How involved do they want to be in the process? If you find yourself struggling to get answers, and they aren’t open about sharing any of their background, that’s a clear sign to move on to.
Transparency is crucial in this surrogacy process. With that, it’s difficult to impossible to establish trust and a strong, healthy relationship with the intended parents.
3) No Access to Previous Clients or Gestational Carriers
You may feel compelled, as a gestational carrier, to speak with previous carriers or previous intended parents who have dealt with the agency you are looking into. While this is very normal and you are entitled to know this history, some agencies may choose not to disclose such information under a confidentiality term. Intended parents may not feel comfortable revealing who they have used in the past, if applicable, either. This is a strong indicator that things are not as they seem, and that you need to find another agency and different intended parents.
You should be given access to read case studies and look into interviews that both the agency and the intended parents have had with previous carriers. Googling some online reviews would also help with that, where you can directly reach the people who provide feedback in your own capacity.
4) Gaps in Communication
Communication is key to establishing a healthy and strong relationship with the intended parents and agency. After all, you will be entering a legally-binding agreement and going on the gestational journey with them. A lack of communication can denote a lack of commitment with the intended parents. With the agency, it could signal that they aren’t very dedicated to you as a client.
You should never be left in the dark, even in the minor decisions or discussions. So, always be aware of the strength of communication and build your judgment based on that.
5) Requirements not Fully Disclosed
There are fixed physical, emotional and mental requirements that gestational carriers and intended parents must meet in order to work with Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Oklahoma. We have all of those laid out very clearly, and make sure that our clients completely understand what the gestational journey will entail from start to finish. This helps us ensure that we are working with the most dedicated and responsible gestational carriers and intended parents, and that everyone is agreeing to the process for the right reasons. In addition, to ensure everyone’s health and safety, gestational carriers and intended parents must undergo an intense and extensive screening process.
As a gestational carrier, if you feel uncomfortable about the requirements or something feels off with the screening and matching process, don’t hesitate to ask questions. Being misled or having information withheld is a huge red flag. Everything should be clearly outlined, so you are aware of all the expectations, and can confidently build trust with the agency you choose.
Red Flags in Gestational Surrogacy
At the end of the day, you shouldn’t feel like you’re going through the gestational surrogacy process alone. Having the right agency and intended parents will provide you with the support you need and should ensure that you feel confident and comfortable.
With Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Oklahoma, your health and safety is our top priority. We want you to have the most positive and empowering gestational journey possible, and will always have your best interests in mind.
Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Oklahoma is a surrogacy and adoption agency, licensed by the state of Oklahoma and leader in the community. We assist both intended parents and gestational carriers (surrogates). Our staff members are committed to providing an ethical, empowering, and personalized experience to all involved in the surrogacy process.
Meet the Author: A native Arabic speaker from Cairo, Egypt, Fatma Khaled is a graduate student from Columbia Graduate School of Journalism, class 2020 where she focused on visual journalism and long-form narrative. Her work in journalism began in 2013 when she covered the political turmoil in Egypt at the time and reported on different beats afterwards in the country including women’s issues, press freedom, and minority rights.
She is one of the White House Correspondents Association scholars for 2020 and recipient of a certificate of achievement from HarvardX initiative specializing in humanitarian crisis and conflict resolutions. She has experience in business reporting with focus on the impact of state economic policies on financial markets and business sectors including real estate, trade, and entrepreneurship.
Throughout her experience in Egypt and the U.S., she covered different reporting beats including LGBTQ, mental health, religion, education, gender issues, homelessness, international politics, business, culture and immigration. Tackling day to day job challenges, she is always in the process of honing her writing and multimedia skills to produce a high quality of shoe-leather reporting.