Unplanned Pregnancy Options: Addressing Birth Mother Adoption Fears in Oklahoma
When faced with an unplanned pregnancy, women, teens, and girls experience several different emotions: fear, uncertainty, helplessness…
Birth mothers going through the Oklahoma adoption process have a surplus or fears and concerns: How will I know if I found the right adoptive family? What will other people think of me when they learn I’m giving my baby up for adoption?
Birth mothers are also apprehensive about what will happen following the adoption: Will my baby be okay? What if I regret adoption later? Will I never get to see my baby again? What if my child hates me for giving him or her up?
It’s natural to have these fears and questions. Our adoption center, Adoption Choices of Oklahoma, has met many birth mothers with fears and questions similar to yours. We’re here to address your adoption fears so you won’t feel alone during this stressful time.
How will I know if I found the right adoptive family?
The “right” adoptive family varies from person to person. Different birth mothers have different desires. Some birth mothers want an adoptive family that has values and interests similar to their own. Some birth mothers are interested in LGBTQ+ adoption, and others are interested in transracial (interracial) adoption.
During the adoption process, you’ll get to view profiles on the available adoptive families. You’ll also get to meet the adoptive families. You should take that time to learn about their values, their lifestyle, their community, etc. Do they have a suitable career? Can they provide the love, education, and finances your child will need?
It’s definitely a lot to think about, so we’ll be here to offer advice when you feel it’s necessary. We’re your guides, but you’ll still be in control.
What will other people think of me if I choose adoption?
Unfortunately, there’s still a lot of stigma around adoption and birth mothers, thanks in-part to negative depictions in the media.
It’s important to surround yourself with people who love you, people who understand your motivations and intentions. You know your own heart. You know that you’re choosing adoption because you want what’s best for your child. You’re making a brave and selfless decision that benefits your baby, the adoptive family, and yourself.
Will I never see my baby again if I give him up for adoption?
There are three different types of adoption: open adoption, closed adoption, and semi-open adoption. If you choose open or semi-open adoption, you can receive photographs and updates on your child’s wellbeing. If you choose open adoption, you and the adoptive parents can arrange meetings; so, you’ll get to see your child in person on occasion.
Many birth mothers choose open or semi-open adoption because they want to maintain contact, because they want the reassurance that comes with that contact.
What if my child hates me for giving him up?
First and foremost, you’re not “giving your child up.” You’re giving him or her a better life. You understand that you’re not ready for motherhood, that you can’t provide everything your child will need growing up. You’re making a decision that will ensure that your child will have a stable future.
As your child grows older, he or she may have questions about why you decided to place him or her for adoption. If you commit to an open adoption, you’ll have the opportunity to explain how you came to make that decision. Your child will understand that what you did was very difficult, and he or she will love and appreciate you for the life you gave him or her.
Adoption at Adoption Choices of Oklahoma
If you have any additional fears or concerns, don’t hesitate to share them with us. Adoption Choices of Oklahoma will be here for you throughout the process. We’ll help you start your adoption plan, we’ll help you find an adoptive family, and we’ll help you finalize the adoption. We’ll be here to provide comfort and support so you won’t feel scared or alone anymore.
Are you ready to start creating your adoption plan? If so, you can contact us over the phone via call or text, or you can send us an email. We look forward to hearing from you.
Adoption Choices of Oklahoma is a private adoption agency, licensed by the state of Oklahoma and leader in the adoption community. We have been assisting birth parents, children, and adoptive families in Oklahoma for over 19 years. Our staff members are committed to providing an ethical, empowering, and personalized adoption experience to all involved in the adoption process. If you are currently in the process of adopting a baby and have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact us.
Toll-free: 800-898-6028 | OKC Local: 405-755-1999 | Tulsa Local: 918-447-7777 | Text: 405-310-8790 | Email
Meet the Author: Heather Valenzano is an up-and-coming content creator with a bachelor’s degree in mass communications and a minor in English. After graduating from Iona College in 2019, she got an internship – and then a part-time job – writing blogs and managing social media accounts for Hip New Jersey, a lifestyle website owned by Long Shot Productions. She has also produced website and social media content for CommonPage, an external collaboration platform.
When she isn’t working, Heather enjoys watching crime shows like Forensic Files or posting book reviews to OnlineBookClub.org under the username “LavenderLiterature2.”