You’ve taken the test, and the results are in — you’re pregnant! While you want to be excited, this is the last thing you expected. The shock of this revelation has thrown you completely off your game. What now? How do you move forward?
An unplanned pregnancy can be a completely life-altering occurrence. This new reality may be frightening to think about, but it doesn’t need to be. You are not alone. Adoption Choices of Oklahoma is here to help. Our highly-qualified and compassionate staff members are ready and willing to give you as much information as we can so that you can make the best decision for you and your baby.
Take a Deep Breath
Regardless of your excitement or disappointment with your results, being pregnant is big news. Take a deep breath. It’s okay that your emotions are going everywhere. Take a deep breath. Give yourself the time and space to process this information. Take a deep breath. Pregnancy is a natural part of life. Countless other women have gone through it and will continue to go through it in the future. Take a deep breath.
Unplanned pregnancies tend to turn lives upside down, but know that you are in control of what happens next. You get to decide what your future will look like. If you feel safe speaking to trusted friends and family members about your pregnancy — especially if you know one of them went through something similar — do that. Ask for guidance. See how they chose to handle their unplanned pregnancy and why. Safe and calm communication is key; talking to your partner or spouse and doctor about available options is always a good idea as well.
Unplanned Pregnancy in Oklahoma
Adoption Choices of Oklahoma offers adoption services, confidential counseling, and is passionate about providing a non-judgemental experience to make you feel safe and well-cared for. Don’t be afraid to seek out help; several people would love to provide that for you. Our counselors are available any time to sit down, chat, and help you weigh your options. We’ll never fail to offer an unbiased view.
Forming Your Game Plan
Step 1: Tryouts
After you have taken an at-home pregnancy test, how long should you wait to make an appointment with a doctor? The answer is this: no time at all! As with anything health-related, the sooner you can get it in, the better. Your doctor will be able to confirm your pregnancy and give you a more accurate measurement of how far along you are. He or she will also counsel you in your available options — keeping, terminating or choosing adoption — and ask what you’d like to do. Your doctor may then walk you through the steps of your pregnancy and offer you resources to further assist with your journey.
Step 2: Building Your Team
If you choose to place your baby for adoption, you’ll have nine months to prepare what that will look like. To ensure that both you and your baby remain safe and healthy, and to gather the best team of people around you to be your support system.
- Team Captain/ MVP: This is you! Remember, you are the one in charge here, and the most valuable person on this team. As the team captain, others have to listen to you and your direction for the best results.
- The Coach and Assistant Coaches: The doctor is the one calling the shots for your benefit. Make sure that you are finding someone who has your best interests in mind. Depending on what birth plan you choose, this could also include a midwife. A birth parent counselor, provided by Adoption Choices of Oklahoma, can also guide you, physically and emotionally, through the pregnancy and adoption process.
- The Cheerleader: While a doula is not a requirement, she can be a very helpful advocate for you while you are in the throes of labor. She will be cheering you on while also making sure your needs are met.
- The Fans: Your family and friends can be a big support through this period of life, whether that is physically, financially, emotionally, or mentally. Birth parent support groups can also support you throughout your pregnancy.
Step 3: Huddle
How often should you be checking with your doctor? A tentative schedule looks like this:
- Between 4 and 28 weeks: a checkup every month
- During your first prenatal visit (about 6 weeks), you can receive your first ultrasound and hear your baby’s heartbeat for the first time.
- At about 18 weeks, you can find out the sex of the baby.
- Between 28 and 36 weeks: a checkup every two weeks
- Between 28 and 36 weeks: a checkup every two weeks
- Between 36 and 40 weeks: a checkup every week
Step 4: Practice
Consider your birth plan and ways to implement it. This can look like going to birth classes and gathering information in preparation for labor, asking yourself if you will or will not be on medication during this process, and/or picking a place to give birth. Be sure to tour it to see if you are comfortable in the environment.
Step 5: Game Day
The pivotal day has finally arrived! Remember that, through all the pain, a beautiful son or daughter is the result for you or another parent to your child.
Post-Game Locker Room Recap
The news of an unplanned pregnancy can be scary to receive and process. All of your emotions are valid. Pregnancy is common, but it is a big change. You are not the only one who has gone through this, and there are other wise women who you can confide in. Know that you are not alone in this; you have resources, options, and people on your side willing to help you through it. The most important thing is safety for yourself and your child. Make sure to let your needs be heard and met. Take a deep breath. Now, go make your game plan!
Adoption Choices of Oklahoma
If you are currently in the process of adopting a baby and have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact, Adoption Choices of Oklahoma. You may visit our website here or call 405-794-7500 (Oklahoma City) or 918-982-6220 (Tulsa).
Support Adoption Choices
Adoption Choices, Inc. is partnering with Crowdrise, a fundraising website for nonprofits, to help our adoptive parents and birth parents with much needed financial assistance. We understand that expenses keep clients from fulfilling their dreams. Both with birth parents making a plan for adoption, and with adoptive parents growing their family. It is our mission to provide financial assistance through grants and scholarships, awarded annually in November, in honor of National Adoption Month. Funds assist adoptive parents with matching and placements, adoption finalization and helping birth mothers improve their lives through higher education — and much more.
However, we can’t do it alone. Please read up on our programs and donate money where you are able. Your donation will make a huge impact.
About the Author
Jadzia Miller is currently in the final stretches of pursuing an English degree at Colorado Christian University. She has lived in the beautiful state of Colorado for the 22 years she has been on this earth, and loves exploring the beauty that is constantly surrounding her.
She aspires to pursue a career in publishing or library science; either way, Jadzia wants to be surrounded by books and stories. Living near Denver, she is surrounded by artistic pursuits and wants to continue exploring these as often as possible. Jadzia has a passion for encouraging people to read and find the joy in reading books.
Ding, Karisa, et al. “I’m Pregnant: What Do I Do Now?” BabyCenter, www.babycenter.com/pregnant-now-what.
“Our Mission.” Willow Pregnancy Support – Pregnancy Clinic & Outreach Center, www.willowpregnancy.org/our-mission.