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Unwrapping Holiday Joy and Grief as a Birth Mother

By Mohammed Ahmad

A time of grief and sadness is expected during the holiday season for birth parents. Going through the adoption process can be a daunting experience and filled with heightened emotion. The feelings of loss and longing begin to fill your head, and you may feel confused. You may ask yourself, “Did I make the right decision?” “Will my child grow to hate me?” “Am I not a good parent?” We tend to make up so many negative stories in our heads. 

Throughout the adoption process, you may be the harshest critic of yourself. 

As humans, we naturally are the biggest critics of ourselves in whatever decisions we make. We judge how we do it, if we did it right, and whether or not the decision should’ve happened. 

You will be filled with an array of different emotions, from sadness to anger to a lingering sensation of longing for your child and parenthood. Finding ways to navigate these feelings and figure out how to cope with them is essential. Your life will not end after adoption; in fact, it is intended to prosper and evolve. You may think that your chances of parenthood in the future are over–this is not the case. As a birth parent, you still have every right to create a family in the future. 

Adoption Choices of Oklahoma is here to help you learn how to cope with these natural human emotions. You are not alone in this; in fact, many birth parents endure the same thing. This guide is intended to help you navigate these emotions and learn how to deal with them post-adoption. As the holidays approach us, we want you to unwrap joy and learn to cope with the grief. You are stronger than you think and can move on in your life post-adoption. 

Holiday Traditions to Share With Your Child and Their Adoptive Family

To help cope with your emotions during the holiday season, a great thing you can do is begin thinking of holiday traditions. These can be customs or traditions you want passed down to your child. By incorporating these traditions, you will be able to instill a lot of customs that you’ve always wanted your child to grow up with. 

There are many ways you can do this. With the help of the adoptive family, you can ensure that these ideas are expressed during the adoption process. This helps the family understand what kind of home life you want for your child. You can sit down with them and discuss in more detail the type of holiday traditions you want your child to be surrounded by. Furthermore, you can discuss how you can be involved in them as well. 

Throughout the child adoption, you will be able to express all of the customs you want to be present in the home, regardless of whether or not they relate to holidays. A great way to incorporate holiday traditions is being able to visit your baby every holiday season. This helps you be able to give them gifts to remember you by and build memories with them that they will remember forever. You are also able to join the adoptive family for holiday trips or window shopping. The holidays are a perfect time to begin instilling new traditions that involve you and the adoptive family. 

Tulsa adoption agencies will provide you with resources and ideas as to how to approach the holiday season while enduring the adoption process. Adoption agencies are intended to provide you with imminent resources that help you navigate your emotions and learn how to move on and live a full life. 

Managing Your Grief Post-Adoption

Your love for your child is unequivocal. If you experienced an unplanned pregnancy, that child still holds immense meaning to you. At the end of the day, that is still your baby, and the emotions you endure throughout the process are real and should be addressed. Our intentions at Adoption Choices of Oklahoma are to help you move on post-adoption and cope with the overwhelming feelings that come with it. 

An adoption plan will be thought out clearly, and with your help, it will be the adoption plan of your dreams. All of your needs and ideas will be heard and used to shape the best adoption plan for your baby. The grief that’ll come after is what we want you to prepare for and try to understand. It is definitely easier said than done, but here at Adoption Choices of Oklahoma, we are here to help you during and post-adoption, regardless. 

Take the time to understand the benefits of putting a child up for adoption and why it was the best decision for you and your baby. When you take a negative emotion and identify and observe it, you can understand why it is there to begin with. This will help you cope with the feeling and move on from it. Oklahoma City adoption recommends using resources for therapy and counseling to help dissect and understand your feelings. We want you to feel heard and try to understand the natural reactions your body is having post-adoption. 

You have a life filled with dreams and ambitions. Your future is still worth so much, and it does not stop after adoption. Here at Adoption Choices of Oklahoma, we will help you not only manage your grief but completely understand it and move on. Call Adoption Choices of Oklahoma today. 

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