Unwrapping Holidays for Birth Mothers: Understanding Holiday Joy and Grief
By Staren Henry
The holidays are typically a time of joy and cheer, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be a stressful or conflicting time for birth mothers. Navigating the adoption process and all of the emotions that come with it can be difficult for birth parents, especially if they are dealing with an unplanned pregnancy. There is no need to panic. You are not alone this holiday season. Here at Adoption Choices of Oklahoma, we will do everything in our power to make sure you feel supported this holiday season. We have adoption agencies in Tulsa ready to assist you.
How to Get Support During the Holidays
A birth mother can feel conflicting emotions at any point in the adoption process. Remember, you are not giving up your baby for adoption but placing them in a loving home. If you desperately need to reach out to someone right now, it’s still possible! You may be surprised to learn that there are actually multiple ways for birth mothers to reach out for support during the holiday season. Here are some ways you can beat those holiday blues:
1. Your Friends and Family are Here for You
Remember, sometimes the best help we can get is from our loved ones. The holidays are about spending time with your loved ones, and it is a great time of year to seek out their support. If you cannot meet them in person, see if any online options are possible. Some examples are Zoom or Skype calls.
2. Reach Out to the Adoptive Family
If you have already placed your baby for adoption and have chosen open adoption, try reaching out to the adoptive family. They can offer comfort and reassurance. You can also see for yourself that your child is in a safe and loving environment, which may calm your anxiety.
3. Look into Birth Mother Support Groups
Sometimes it may be wise to join a support group of other birth mothers. It can be helpful to connect with people who have gone through something similar. Support groups offer you a space to engage with others that can empathize with you.
4. Talk to Your Adoption Specialist
Your adoption caseworker will do everything they can to support you, even during the holidays. Do not be afraid to reach out to them when dealing with difficult emotions.
You Can Count on Adoption Choices of Oklahoma!
Adoption Choices of Oklahoma is committed to assisting our birth mothers even during the holidays. We will do our most to support you during this emotional season.
Unwrapping Holiday Traditions You Can Share
For birth mothers still selecting one of our pre-screened families, it is important to remember that you can also make religion a selection factor. This may make you feel more at ease when the holidays roll around. Try reaching out to the adoptive family to set up some traditions. This can make you feel more connected to the family and your child. Here are a few things you can do:
1. Plan a Visit with Your Birth Child
If the terms of your open adoption allow visits and you live close enough, consider dropping by! Spending time together during the holidays can be a lovely way to strengthen your relationship with your child and their adoptive family. It will also make you feel much more included in their life.
2. Plan a Video Call with the Adoptive Family
If a physical meeting isn’t an option, an online call can still be a great way to keep in touch. Some popular options are Zoom or Skype calls. It can be more convenient to set up a voice call, and it comes with less stressful planning. You can also make video calling a regular part of your life if it feels right.
3. Share an Ornament Special to You as a Birth Mother
If you and your adoptive family celebrate Christmas, giving your child an ornament can be an easy but impactful gesture. You can pick one out yourself and give it to them. If it is possible, it can become an even more special memory if you pick out the ornament together. Buying two ornaments and keeping one so they can match also a cute reminder that you and your child are always connected. Whenever you see these ornaments, you’ll think of each other!
4. Celebrate with the Adoptive Family After The Holidays
Meeting up with your child does not have to be restricted to the holidays. See if it’s possible to meet with your child and their adoptive family after Christmas. Even if you cannot visit them every year, visiting them every now and then is a great way to make long-lasting memories.
Unwrapping Holidays for Birth Mothers in Oklahoma
Holiday traditions aren’t just for “conventional” families. They’re for you too! Do not feel like you cannot share these special moments with your child and their adoptive family. Our agency is always here to help you emotionally. If you need help learning How to put a child up for adoption, we will provide all the resources we can to make you feel supported year-round. You deserve this!
Adoption Choices of Oklahoma is a private adoption agency, licensed by the state of Oklahoma and leader in the adoption community. We have been assisting birth parents, children, and adoptive families in Oklahoma for over 19 years. Our staff members are committed to providing an ethical, empowering, and personalized adoption experience to all involved in the adoption process. If you are currently in the process of adopting a baby and have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact us.
Toll-free: 800-898-6028 | OKC Local: 405-755-1999 | Tulsa Local: 918-447-7777 | Text: 405-201-6643 | Email