Toll-free: 800-898-6028 | OKC Local: 405-755-1999 | Tulsa Local: 918-447-7777 | Text: 405-201-6643 | Email

What About The Birth Father?

 By Eric Somarriba

While working through the adoption process as a birth mother, you’ll likely wonder about the birth father and his role. When anyone is thinking about adoption, they naturally think of the birth mother first and foremost before the father. Birth fathers, however, can potentially play a big part in the adoption, whether by their actions or their absence. How your child’s birth father plays a role will depend on your and his circumstances. You could be in an existing relationship or even married. Or he may uninvolved himself in the process or be entirely unknown, to begin with. With this article, we want to help explain the potential role the birth father may have in your adoption. Much of it depends on his presence in your life, and we’ll share how different types affect adoption.

Adoption Choices of Oklahoma has worked with women who are pregnant and considering adoption for 19 years and counting. We help guide women through every part of adoption to ensure the best life for their children. Our goal is always to support our birth mothers, but we respect the great role fathers play just as much.

What Happens if the Birth Father is Unknown?

In the unfortunate case where the birth father is unknown to you, don’t fret too much. You are in control of your adoption plan and your child’s future above anyone else. An adoption with two present birth parents requires both of their consent, so the birth father does have those rights. As such, our adoption specialists will make an effort to try and locate the father. If we do manage to find him, he can become part of the process, and it will continue from there. If we cannot find him, he will be unaware and play no part in the adoption. So as before, you will be in full control. The adoption will continue as normal, and we can focus on you and your baby.

How to Proceed with the Adoption if the Birth Father is Unsupportive

If the father is present, then what happens next will depend on your relationship with him and his feelings. Adoption can be long and hard, and birth fathers have their own complex feelings, just like you. In this case, whether your relationship with him is good or bad, he may end up being against the adoption.

It could be down to him being unfamiliar with the process, and you can have the chance to convince him. Though sometimes, a birth father is against adoption because they do want to raise your baby. He may have good intentions, but if you’re set on putting your child up for adoption, then it’s more complicated. If you cannot persuadehim, it will be a legal battle for custody. He’ll have to formally contest the adoption and prove that he’d be able to raise your baby effectively. If he doesn’t succeed, the adoption can continue following your wishes.

The Responsibilities of a Present Birth Father

If involved, the father can have a role as important as yours. He does have the option to show support though not involve himself. We always encourage collaboration between both parents. When the birth father is present and supportive of your choice, it can take a lot of weight off. Whether he’s your boyfriend or husband, both of you can work together to decide on your child’s future. As one of the biological parents, the birth father has similar rights to you and similar responsibilities. Much of those responsibilities involve supporting you and helping with the big decisions you need to make. If he’s making an effort to support you and the adoption process, then you should welcome his input.

Some of the greatest decisions to make include the type of adoption, the adoptive family, and the overall adoption plan. He may not be the one carrying the child like you, but he can still have a valuable perspective. It’s up to both of you to decide on your child’s future, but we’re here to help. Our specialists and counselors are also available for the birth father to consult and receive guidance from, just like you. There’ll be agreements and disagreements on what’s best but remember, you both just want a good life for your baby. Like any other Oklahoma adoption, by the end, both of you will sign away your parental rights. But with open adoption, just like how you can still know your child, the father can too.

The Job of the Birth Parents With Adoption Choices of Oklahoma

Two heads are better than one, so the birth father can be an invaluable part of your adoption journey. While some fathers fill the unfortunate stereotype of being uninvolved, many defy this and are there for every step. Both of you have an equal part in designing your baby’s life, and together you can create a great plan. Our adoption agencies in Oklahoma respect both your rights and perspectives and will work to help you both.

To begin your adoption, contact an adoption agency near you. Adoption Choices of Oklahoma is a private adoption agency licensed by the state of Oklahoma and a leader in the adoption community. We have been assisting birth parents, children, and adoptive families in Oklahoma for over 19 years. Our staff members are committed to providing an ethical, empowering, and personalized adoption experience to all involved in the adoption process. If you are currently in the process of adopting a baby and have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact us.

Toll-free: 800-898-6028 | OKC Local: 405-755-1999 | Tulsa Local: 918-447-7777 | Text: 405-201-6643 | Email

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