Who is a Surrogate Mother?

Deciding to become a surrogate is no easy task. Those who want to be a surrogate and qualify to become a surrogate mother are very select groups. Beyond just meeting qualifications, it takes a certain type of person to complete the surrogacy journey. For some, it may be difficult to comprehend how someone could carry another couple’s child for nine months. However, surrogates are truly special and selfless individuals. Although reasons for becoming a surrogate may vary, the end result is the same; pride and satisfaction knowing you’ve given an incredible gift to an intended family. If you’re interested in becoming a surrogate mother or want to know more about surrogacy, Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Oklahoma is here for you. We’re a network of expert and compassionate full-service and licensed surrogacy agencies providing support for surrogates. We work hard to ensure the surrogacy process is smooth and enjoyable for both the surrogate mother and the intended parents. You can rest easy knowing you are safe and completely taken care of with us. So, who is a surrogate mother? Not just what is a surrogate mother, but who? Who selflessly take the leap to open themselves up entirely for the sake of another family. So many mothers talk about the nightmare of being pregnant and childbirth, so who would go through that willingly when it’s not even their own child? What is a Surrogate Mother? Surrogacy has been around a lot longer than you may think. The history of surrogacy finds its roots in what we know today as traditional surrogacy. In the before times, surrogacy was mainly a way for kings and other rulers to ensure a continued lineage if their own wives couldn’t bear children. Surrogates were primarily considered a tool for families to create a baby. Unfortunately, a lot of the modern criticisms about surrogacy are founded on the old mindset of using a surrogate. With the successful creation of In Vitro Fertilization (IVF), fighting for surrogates rights, and little time, we’ve come to gestational surrogacy and the modern surrogate. Who can be a Surrogate Mother? Not just anyone can become a surrogate. Becoming a gestational surrogate is more than just deciding to do it and signing a bunch of paperwork. Surrogates go through a rigorous process of screenings, background checks, and physical and mental evaluations. In order to ensure a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby, surrogates have to be healthy themselves. This means no smoking, alcohol dependency, drugs, etc. Women wanting to become a surrogate must also have had a child of their own already. Pregnancy can come with a lot of unforeseen complications, and looking at previous pregnancies helps us determine if there will be any big issues down the road. Some agencies may have different qualifications, so check with a counselor from your local agency or Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Oklahoma. Who Wants to be a Surrogate Mother? For those outside of the OK surrogacy community, it can be hard to wrap your head around the thought process of a surrogate mother. What kind of person willingly becomes pregnant for another family? People can usually understand adoption, becoming pregnant, not being able to keep the baby, and placing them with another family. Trying to understand why someone would willingly put themselves in the situation of carrying a baby that you know won’t be going home with you after nine months is a bit tricky for some to understand. Why carry a baby that isn’t even yours genetically?  Why put up with morning sickness and childbirth if it’s not yours?  Why willingly become pregnant if it’s not yours?  Surrogates get a lot of questions and criticism for their decision. So who would want to become a surrogate? It’s a hard question to pin down an answer to. Surrogates have a lot of reasons for choosing to become a surrogate. Some may be clear-cut, and others have some personal reasons under the surface. Two of the most common reasons people become surrogates is because either they like being pregnant and/or they want to provide the gift of life to a family. It’s simple, but the impact is unimaginable. Being a surrogate mother means giving a family something they thought they could never have. Not understanding the mindset of a surrogate is understandable; it’s not for everyone. If you can’t grasp why anyone would want to be a surrogate, then it’s not for you. Simple. What Type of Person is a Surrogate?  Who is a surrogate mother? Who goes through background checks and screenings that open up every corner of their life? Who endures a pregnancy that technically isn’t even theirs? Who puts up with being criticized for being a vessel or a glorified oven? There are a lot of “who would do this or that” or “what kind of person does this” with surrogacy. The truth is maybe only surrogates know why they do what they do. So, what kind of person is a surrogate? Who is a surrogate mother? She may be the only one who knows how to answer that question completely. However, we know that a surrogate mother is kind and selfless and may have altruistic reasoning. She’s a mom who enjoyed pregnancy. She loved knowing a tiny human capable of so much was growing inside of her. She loved the little kicks and watching them grow so fast. She knows the joy of being a parent and wants someone who thought they’d never get that joy to experience it. She’s had those experiences and wants to share them. She’s not some, greater than thou sitting on her pedestal above the selfish peasants, kind of person. She’s just a mom with a big heart and an abundance of love to give. Could You Be a Surrogate? We’ve painted surrogacy in a golden light, but it’s certainly not all rainbows and sunshine. Yes, surrogacy is beautiful, and surrogates are amazing, but nothing and no one is perfect. Surrogacy can be emotionally taxing. Even knowing what you signed up for, handing the baby over might still be hard. Postpartum emotions can be a lot for anyone to handle, and it won’t be easy. Surrogates cry and question if they’re doing the right thing and eat an entire package of cookies. It’s not perfect, and it’s not pretty. Being a surrogate is more than just having the desire to help a family. Surrogates understand there will be ups and downs, and it comes with the territory. Are you willing to be completely open and honest? To release control over some aspects and understand that we’re here for this little life you’re creating at the end of the day. To change a family’s life forever, giving them the gift of being parents when they never thought they could. To do all of that and feel so proud of yourself. Could you be a surrogate? Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Oklahoma is a surrogacy and adoption agency, licensed by the state of Oklahoma and a leader in the community. We assist both intended parents and gestational carriers (surrogates). Our staff members are committed to providing an ethical, empowering, and personalized experience to all involved in the surrogacy process. Toll-free: 800-898-6028 | OKC Local: 405-755-1999 | Tulsa Local: 918-447-7777 | Text: 405-310-8790 | Email Meet the Author: Michelle Brugioni is a practiced, well-versed college-educated writer and avid coffee drinker. She has ten years of experience as a freelance writer and has written for an alarmingly wide range of clients and publications. She has written on topics like: life science, biopharmaceutical company acquisitions, dealing with anxiety, and creative drinking games.  As a fearless writer and masterful researcher, each time Michelle is approached with the question, “Can you write this?” she responds confidently with, “When do you need it?”