Why Are People Afraid of Adoption?

By Eric Somarriba

For any birth mother, the choice to pursue adoption for your child is anything but simple. Much of it depends on a birth mother’s individual circumstances, but it is rarely easy to come to a decision. While adoption is generally perceived in a positive light, there is still an unfortunate stigma that some still contribute. This stigma is often directed towards the birth mother for many reasons, so we hope this article can help. We will tackle why people are afraid of adoption and the unfounded beliefs some have towards adoption to ideally dispute them.

This article can’t cover every possible fear that may arise, but Adoption Choices of Oklahoma is here for you. Our private adoption agencies have guided birth mothers through their adoption for 19 years and counting. We create an adoption plan where you plan and choose the family, and we’ll handle the adoption details for you. Our mission is to help you through every step of the way to find a loving home for your child.

The Stigma That Birth Mothers Don’t Love Their Child

 One of the more common unfortunate beliefs about adoption is that birth mothers don’t care about their children. From an outside perspective, some may assume you’re throwing your child away due to them being an inconvenience. While it may lamentably be true in rare cases, it is untrue for the vast majority of birth mothers. It’s down to many different circumstances, but giving up your baby can be an act of love, not uncaring.

You may know you are unable to care for your child and give them the life they deserve. If that is the case, your love for your child shows in allowing another family to care for them. No matter the reason or what others say, you know better than anyone whose love guided your actions. Giving up your child is unimaginably hard, and you may think to yourself that you didn’t love them enough. But our adoption agencies are here to help you grieve and allow yourself the chance to accept it.

 Fear of Not Knowing What Happens After Adoption 

Adoption can be a long process with many unknowns, feelings, and fears you may not realize immediately. Whether during the adoption process or even years after, it can be tough to consider some of the consequences. Others may wonder if you would be capable of having a family of your own in the future. Adoption doesn’t block you from having a family unless there are actual medical complications with your unplanned pregnancy.

If you reach the point where you can raise children and want to experience motherhood, no one should stop you. The people around you may think you’re unfit after giving a child away, but that is not the case. You can extend the love you still have for your first child to any future children you can raise. The regret you may feel that others exacerbate may make you believe the child you gave up hates you. It is impossible to predict how the adoptee may feel as they grow up, but don’t assume they will immediately.

Through avenues like open adoption, you may be able to meet your child and form a relationship with them. This may give you both final closure or create a new relationship that can evolve. There may be consequences long after the adoption that plague your mind, but it doesn’t have to consume you. You can be a mother or have closure on your child if that is what you desire.

You’re Child May Be Emotionally Traumatized

Much of the stigma revolving around adoption and birth mothers is the thought of negative effects on your child. People unaware of the working of adoption may think you’ve doomed your child to a life of difficulty and mental health struggles. Even if a loving family adopts your child, many think the adoptee suffers knowing you gave them up. Adoptees do often wonder why you gave them up and can often struggle with their identities. It is entirely valid to worry about this and for your child’s future mental health, but they will have support.

Counseling for this kind of scenario is available, not to mention the support they will have from their adopted family. Even if you don’t go through with an open adoption to one day meet them, your child is not alone. They may struggle, but with all the kinds of support available, they will be able to make it through.

Try Not to Be Afraid of Adoption

We respect and understand any and all fears you may have about your Oklahoma adoption. We even understand why the people around you may have these beliefs; adoption is complicated with many consequences. But one of our goals has always been to encourage adoption because we believe it is an act of love. No matter what anyone says, you are not a bad mother for giving your child up for adoption. Doing so doesn’t prevent you from being a mother someday or allowing your child to have peace of mind. You and any other’s fears are valid, but don’t let it stop you from giving your child the home they deserve.

Learn why so many expectant mothers work with Adoption Choices of Oklahoma. Contact us and find an adoption center near you so we can help you with all your needs.  If you are currently in the process of adopting a baby and have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact us.
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