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Why You Should Never Say “Give Up Baby” for Adoption

We often hear the phrase “give up my baby for adoption” used haphazardly. “Give up” is a phrasal verb that means “to cease making an effort; resign oneself to failure,” as if that’s what you’re doing when you make the very difficult decision to place your baby for adoption. You are in no way “giving up” anything; you are not a failure, and you are certainly not “ceasing to make an effort.” If anything, you are making the biggest effort and making one of the hardest choices in the world: to be selfless and give your baby a better life. There is nothing about “giving up” in making this decision: you are strongmature, and brave

Reasons Why You Aren’t Giving Up

“Give up” has a negative connotation that directly contradicts the sacrifice you are making. It is important that the language you use surrounding adoption is positive because adoption is positive. You are deciding to give your baby a better life. “Giving up” would mean that you are resigned to your fate and see no other options, but that’s not what you are doing. You chose another option, the best option: adoption. 

There is a level of shame associated with the term “give up,” and there is absolutely nothing shameful about adoption. Adoption should be a positive experience and our adoption agency in Tulsa believe you should feel safe and confident in your decisions. The more appropriate term is “place your baby for adoption.” Placing your baby for adoption has a much more positive connotation. The language you use regarding adoption can positively or negatively impact your experience, and we want you to have the best adoption experience possible. 

Self-Care During the Adoption Process

One of the best ways to take care of yourself during the adoption process is to ensure you receive adequate medical care. While these appointments may seem time-consuming and unnecessary, they ensure that you and your baby are healthy throughout your pregnancy. Your regular doctor’s appointments are designed to ensure that your baby is developing correctly and that you don’t have any health issues during your pregnancy. 

Exercise is another great form of self-care during your pregnancy. It’s important that you stay active, within reason, throughout your pregnancy. Exercise guarantees that you gain the optimal amount of pregnancy weight and keeps you and your baby healthy. Pregnancy, while physically taxing, can also be emotionally taxing. Exercise releases endorphins, or happy hormones, that can make you and your baby feel good. It’s always better to move your limbs than to be sedentary.

It is important that you take care of your physical needs and your mental health needs. This is where our adoption counselors come in. We offer individualized counseling services during and after your pregnancy. Your counseling sessions may consist of you asking questions about the adoption process or your feelings surrounding your impending adoption. At Adoption Choices of Oklahoma, our adoption counselors are here to answer your questions and ease any concerns or uncertainties you may have regarding the adoption process. Our counseling sessions are 100% confidential and designed to help you to the very best of your ability. 

You should also make sure you eat plenty of fruits and vegetables during your unplanned pregnancy. Fruits and vegetables are filled with vitamins and minerals that are necessary for a healthy pregnancy and baby. The consumption of fruits and vegetables also contributes to healthy pregnancy weight gain. 

Self-care can also include:

  • Doing things you enjoy like bubble baths.
  • Spending time with your family and friends.
  • Doing a face mask.

It’s important for both you and your baby to take good care of yourself; a healthy mom equates to a healthy baby. Your family and friends are a great source of support during this time in your life, so don’t hesitate to ask them for help. 

Be Confident in Your Adoption Decision

You will not “give up baby” for adoption or anything of the sort. Choosing adoption for your baby involves an immense amount of maturity and bravery. You recognize that maybe you’re not in a place in your life to parent, or you can’t give your child the life you think they deserve. You also give people the opportunity to become parents and start their own family; this is an incredible gift to give other people. Don’t forget why you chose adoption for your baby, and be secure in the fact that you made the best choice for you and your unborn child. 

We’re here to help you with all of your self-care needs at  Adoption Choices of Oklahoma. Adoption is one of the least selfish choices you can make. So let us help you take care of yourself!

Adoption Choices of Oklahoma is a private adoption agency, licensed by the state of Oklahoma and a leader in the adoption community. We have been assisting birth parents, children, and adoptive families in Oklahoma for over 19 years. Our staff members are committed to providing an ethical, empowering, and personalized adoption experience to all involved in the adoption process.  If you are currently in the process of adopting a baby and have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact us.
Toll-free: 800-898-6028 | OKC Local: 405-755-1999 | Tulsa Local: 918-447-7777 | Text: 405-310-8790Email

RaynaMeet the Author: Rayna Batiste is an alumna of the University of West Florida with a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing. Having graduated with honors, she hopes to attend graduate school at New York University, majoring in Journalism. Rayna is also a United States Air Force veteran who enjoys watching documentaries about pretty much any subject, learning, and spending quality time with her family and friends. She is also a fitness enthusiast and an avid Peloton user.
Her hobbies include brunch (yes, brunch is a hobby), fashion, makeup, and of course, reading and writing. Rayna has a real passion for the written word and correct grammar and syntax. She enjoys manipulating sentence structure and experimenting with punctuation in her writing. She’s what you would call a “werd nerd.” She was also recently featured at the Pensacola Museum of Art for her work, entitled Triangular Geometry.


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